He answers privately.

Happy November! Can you believe it is November already?? How time flies! Ricky and I have been married now for just over five months and I can't even believe we are going to have been married for six months later this month! I was just thinking earlier today about how next month, it will be one year from the day that Ricky proposed! I can't even believe it. Time is flying by, and yet, it is going by so slowly at the same time.

I am grateful for the beautiful and wondrous world that we live in. I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, and for His hand in my life. I am grateful for the blessings of the priesthood, and for the miracles that they can bring into our lives.

This week was one of the weirdest weeks, I think, for many personal reasons. But it was also one that reminded me of how blessed I am. I have had several headaches this week, and it hasn't been pleasant. But I am grateful for my husband, who has been my rock this week. He has given me a blessing, helped me with dinners, dressed up with me for Halloween, and has let me take my afternoons and evenings to work on my crafting projects as needed/wanted. He has let me rest when I needed it, and has cuddled with me when I needed it. I couldn't have asked for a better partner. He is always wanting to make sure that I am taken care of, and I am so grateful for his love and concern.

I have been watching The Chosen recently–a TV show based on the life of Jesus Christ. It is an amazing show and I highly recommend it. Today, I watched an episode that reminded me just how much our Savior loves and cares for each of us. One of Jesus' apostles, Simon, is married, and his wife's mother (his mother-in-law) has been sick, and came to stay with them. However, Simon is now a follower of Jesus, and has been traveling with Him. Simon is very worried about his wife and his mother-in-law, and how they will fare while he is out traveling with Jesus. Jesus takes time from their journey to visit Simon's wife, and address her concerns. He also takes time to heal her mother, so that Simon doesn't have to worry about them while he is out on the road. 

This episode made me emotional, as it was a reminder to me that Jesus knows our situation; He knows what we need. In life, we need to go through trials, and sometimes we might feel lost, alone, or afraid. Our Heavenly Father and Savior know what we are going through, and They know what we need. While we may not always have our trials and problems solved or erased, He blesses us and gives us peace and comfort in our trials. While our trials might not always be seen by others, they are very real to us, and I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who knows exactly how I feel, and who knows how to comfort me. I am so grateful that He answers ME. He can and does speak to ME. I am grateful for this knowledge and for the connection that I feel to Him. 

I am grateful for my sweet, loving, sensitive husband, who only wants me to be happy. I love his kind and caring heart, and I love that he is always willing to serve me, and to make sure that I am happy and comfortable.

I am grateful for a compassionate and empathetic Savior, who knows exactly how I am feeling, and who knows what I need. I am grateful that He listens to my prayers, and that He not only knows how to comfort me, but sends His Spirit, as well as any angels (on this side of the veil or the other) to help bring me solace. I love this beautiful version of two of my favorite hymns, Where Can I Turn for Peace? and Be Still, My Soul. Calee Reed is one of my favorite Christian artists, and her music always brings the Spirit in such beautiful ways. I hope that this song touches you and brings you any needed peace, comfort, and love.

I hope you have a wonderful week! God is so good.

Xoxo

Mattie

Tiny green sprouts.

This week has been a busy week!

First, my brother was set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was dropped off at the MTC this week. That was an exciting moment but also an emotional one. I am so proud of him and can't wait to hear all about his adventures.

Next, not only did I have my 23rd birthday, but I also went to see the Midway Ice Castles, went wedding dress shopping twice, and found my dress! I found THE ONE! I feel so beautiful in it and I am so happy!!

The wedding planning is coming along nicely. I'm less stressed now that I have my wedding dress! That was probably the most stressful part, and now all I have left to do is alterations!

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father, and for His love and mercy. I am grateful for all the second chances He gives me over and over again. I am grateful for His Son, Jesus Christ, and for the sacrifice that He made for me so that I can live with my Father in Heaven again someday.

I am so thankful for my sweetheart, Ricky. He is like our Heavenly Father in that he gives me so much love, mercy, and second chances. He is so respectful, honors his priesthood, and he loves me wholly. I am so grateful for his sacrifices for me, and for all that he does for me. I am so excited for our wedding in May and can't wait to begin our life together! (P.S. If you would like an announcement, please fill out this link here)

I am looking forward to this week. I am sad because I will be leaving the daycare, but I am excited to be moving forward in my life. I have a few potential jobs right now and I am hoping to be able to have more time to do wedding stuff. I know that God is blessing my life right now, and I know that this is what He wants for me at this time. I am moving forward with faith and hope that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.

I love my Heavenly Father and am so grateful for His hand in my life. Sometimes it seems like things are going to work out, and then they crash and burn, but amidst the rubble, there is a tiny green sprout that ends up working out instead.

I've had many moments in my life where I thought things were going to work out, but then they crashed and burned. But I've been able to recognize the tiny green sprouts in my life. I've been able to recognize the blessings, and I am so thankful for those tiny green sprouts. They have grown into the most beautiful garden.

I thank God every day that I have so many blessings. I am grateful for my family, my friends–all of my loved ones who have blessed my life in many ways. Some of them have been my tiny green sprouts–the tender mercies in my life. They have helped me grow and learn, and I am so thankful for them. 

I hope you have a wonderful week! I hope that your Sunday has been very relaxing and peaceful. God loves you so much, and I do too. 

Xoxo

Mattie

A year of changes, learning, and growth.

So, the last couple of months/weeks, the main thing in my life that I have been focusing on is my finances. I have been working on trying to budget and save money so that I can stop living from paycheck to paycheck every few weeks when I have random expenses come up. I also want to build up a significant savings account for future unexpected incidents/expenses. I keep getting interrupted by life, and I keep discovering other ways to track my money and budget, so I haven't entirely gotten very far yet. 😂

However, this has yet to deter me, as I keep trying to make notes of my finances. I think that I have been underestimating the amount of expenses that I actually have to pay every month, and so I keep getting low on funds because I think I have more money to work with than I do. 

I know that, as I have been watching my money usage, I have been blessed. I know that as I have paid my tithing first and foremost, I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life. Because somehow...even when I have thought that I didn't have enough...I figured out a way to make it work. 

I'm grateful for the little lessons in life, and for the little tender mercies. God has really been so good to me this year, I honestly can't even comprehend it. This year has probably been one of the craziest years in that I've had probably the greatest number of changes occurring in my life this year than in previous years, which has resulted in the greatest number of changes and the greatest amount of growth to myself. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Respect, love, and kindness–be perfect in trying.

Tender mercies are amazing, beautiful little things that always seem to come when I'm feeling the most down. I'm thankful that my Heavenly Father knows my needs and fills them, and I'm grateful for the little reminders that I am not alone, forgotten, or unloved. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to bless others with that same knowledge, and to fill them with feelings of happiness, peace, and love.

 Sacrament meeting was wonderful! I loved all the messages on gratitude that were given today. Two of my favorites were:
-Being grateful is a good way to be happy.
-Being grateful for the things Heavenly Father does for us can improve our relationship with Him.

One of the things I learned in temple prep today I already sort of knew, but the way that it was presented was amaaaazing and just really stood out to me!

Josh wrote on the board:
worthiness ≠ worth/value
worthiness = preparation

I loved that! It was so clear and easy to see what worthiness is and is not. Worthiness is your preparation. It's not your worth or your value. You are ALWAYS going to have worth and value. That is never going to change. Your worthiness, however, will depend on how prepared you.

Josh shared a quote by President Hinckley. He said, "We believe in chastity before marriage and total fidelity after marriage. That about sums it up. That is the way to happiness in living. That is the way to satisfaction. It brings peace to the heart and peace to the home."

We talked about how we all have things that hold us back, but because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can get through it. We can make it through. We also talked about how there are a lot of different Christian/nonChristian churches, with a lot of different beliefs, and you can pick and choose which one fits your standards. But Josh said, "This is the church that helps us fit God's standards" (emphasis added). I loved that! We are not meant to change the Lord's standards, but we are meant to try and live them.

We talked about how to help people who are struggling with maybe the Word of Wisdom, or the Law of Chastity, and we just said how important it is to listen, and to love them no matter what, and to be respectful and courteous when they're talking to you. It's sometimes hard to share the deepest parts of you with people, and if they make fun of you, or make light of the situation, it doesn't make you want to open up to anyone ever again.

Relief Society was beautiful! We started off with a Dove beauty campaign video that shows/talks about how we view ourselves versus how we view others, and how others view us. We talked about how, as we visit teach our sisters, we help them see their potential. We help them see themselves how we see them. :)

We talked about fellowshipping with those not of our faith today, and there were just a few messages that I loved that I wanted to share:
-Focus on the positives about people.
-Just be a good example.
-Kindness is key.

President Hinckley's fourth point was one of my favorites. He said, "When we treat others with love, respect, and kindness, we show that we are true disciples of Jesus Christ." I love that so much. There is really no other way to show that we are true disciples of Christ. Treating others with respect, kindness, and love, no matter what the circumstances, is the epitome of being a disciple of Christ.

Personally, I try every day to treat others with love, respect, and kindness. It's important to me that everyone feels loved and respected. Sometimes, I make a mistake, but I try again and again. I might not be perfect at treating others with love and kindness, but I am perfect in trying, and I think that that is all God asks of us.

I'm so grateful for the lessons today. I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His hand in my life. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His love and support. I'm so thankful that the Christmas Musical Fireside I am in charge of is going well already!! I can't wait for it!! I'm so excited and grateful to be in charge of it! It's going to be so amazing and I am just super ecstatic about it!

Hope you have a great week! It's almost Thanksgiving! Hold on for about 11 more days!

Xoxo
Mattie

Songs and service.

So, today was the day I performed in sacrament meeting! Unfortunately I have not been feeling well the past few days/weeks, and I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I was terrified!! I needed to be able to sing today before everyone goes away for the summer! So I drank a LOT of water, took some medicine, took a little nap, and prayed that I would be able to sing well–even if I got worse afterwards. And it went better than I thought it would! So grateful!! Of course, after that I did spiral downwards in health. I am now super tired and extremely sick. It's fine. I will live. I'm just going to go to bed super early tonight.

So, as I was sitting in sacrament meeting, thinking about the Savior, and my upcoming solo, and being nervous (the STAKE PRESIDENT was at sacrament meeting today), my roommate–sensing my nervousness–leaned over, patted my arm, and said, "You're gonna do great." A few moments later, one of my friends in the ward texted me and said the same thing. TENDER MERCIES!! So grateful for their words and love.

Also grateful for the messages in sacrament meeting:
-If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you'll be blessed.
-We need to look for and be those positive examples of obedience.

In gospel doctrine, we talked about spiritual gifts, and there were some wonderful things that were said about them, and about how we can gain them, and I wanted to share some:
-We should be acting in accordance with how God sees us, and how we wish to be.
-God doesn't want us to be down on ourselves.
-You have to put in the effort for the spiritual gifts, to be better and them and to better yourself.
-God needs us to bless other people.

In Relief Society we talked about Elder Bednar's talk from the October 2016 conference entitled "If Ye Had Known Me", and we talked about four things he said can help us come to know Christ.
1) Exercising Faith in Him
Nicole shared a scripture that I loved and wanted to share. It's 2 Chron. 14:11, and my favorite line was "It is nothing with Thee to help". I loved that. Whatever we're going through, as long as we have faith, and as long as we have God to help, it is nothing.
2) Following Him
We need to do the work, put in effort. We need to do our part. We can't just leave it all up to Him.
Sometimes we have to put aside our will to follow Him.
Heavenly Father keeps us where we are because He loves us and knows what is best for us, and what we need.
3) Serving Him
Okay, I learned something new today, and this was way cool. So, Elder Bednar said in his talk, "We grow to love those whom we serve." Mosiah 2:17 tells us that when we are in the service of others, we are in the service of God. Ergo, as we come to love those whom we serve, we come to love God. Well, serving others is my favorite way to serve God and love others, so I'm on the right track! :)
4) Believing Him
Believing Him invites perspective and peace into our lives.
This gospel is an eternal gospel. It will last through the eternities.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will always respect the agency of others.
He knows you. He knows your strengths, weaknesses, desires, hopes, dreams, wishes. He knows what you need to feel loved.  He knows that when you're SUPER sick, you're basically a useless worm.
HE KNOWS. He knows it all. And He still loves you.

I am so grateful for my Savior, who stands by me. I am so grateful for my Father in Heaven, who sends me messages of love and comfort through friends. I'm so grateful for the Holy Ghost, who comforts and calms me when I'm nervous or scared. I'm grateful for the love of my Heavenly Parents, my Savior, and the Comforter. I am grateful for their hands in my life. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to sing in church today. It was so great to share the message of the song "Beautiful Savior" with my ward and my friends (Fun fact: that song is President Acerson's favorite song). I'm grateful for my family, friends, and roommates. It's been a crazy year, of which I will share a little bit next week, so stay tuned. ;)

I love you all! I wish you a blessed Sunday and a happy week!

Xoxo
Mattie

He will.

I came home this weekend because Friday was my Spring Day (I go to BYU and we don't normally have a Spring Break but this year they gave us one day...I'll take it!) and I had some things I wanted to do at home. In addition to that, this weekend was SO needed!! ❤

A week or so ago I was reading about the hymn "I Stand All Amazed" and I remembered that, at the time the hymn was written, 'confused' meant 'in awe', or something like that. I can't find what I read, but I know that I read it! Anyway, as we were singing that hymn before the sacrament, I thought that its line "Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me" holds well with either definition. Or both together. I am indeed awed and confused at the grace that He offers. Awed that He loves me enough, even when I've sinned, and made mistakes, to offer it; and confused as to why He offers it again and again. Some days I think that I'm nothing special–that I'm not worth it. But "I tremble to know that for me he was crucified, That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died." For me. He was crucified for ME. He suffered for ME. I'm worth it. At least, to Him. I've made plenty of mistakes. I've sinned. But still, I am worth it to Him. He hasn't given up on me. So I shouldn't either. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13).

A couple of things that were said throughout sacrament meeting and Sunday School today stood out to me, so I just wanted to shared them:
Learning doesn't help until we gain some experience(s).
Our life here on earth is like an apprenticeship.
We don't know the good we do when we share the gospel.

Relief Society was PERFECT! The lesson was one my singles ward did a couple weeks ago, but I really needed it this week. It's the one called, "Daughters of God" and I needed it. Here are some of the things that we talked about/were mentioned:

• Heavenly Father knows you and hears you.
• One woman said that she's always had a hard time with the phrase/word 'meek and submissive' in the scriptures, but that she had recently learned of the meaning of 'meek' in Greek. I'm going to share what I got from what she said and then from what I got doing a simple Google search. She said meekness is a war horse before battle–ready, determined, strong, powerful. In the Google search, I found this, which is essentially the same thing but better: "In the Greek New Testament, 'meek' is from the Greek term praus. It does not suggest weakness; rather, it denotes strength brought under control. The ancient Greeks employed the term to describe a wild horse tamed to the bridle. In the biblical sense, therefore, being meek describes one who has channeled his strengths into the service of God."

I LOVED that! I had never thought before that being meek could have negative connotations, but I am grateful for the sister who brought this new definition of meekness to me.

Another thing we talked about was tender mercies, and how grateful we are for women who listen to the Spirit's promptings and are answers to our prayers. I had such an experience only yesterday. My friend called me out the blue and I was so happy and grateful! It was good to talk to her, seeing as how I don't get to see or talk with her all that often anymore, and I miss her. It was good to know that she was thinking of me. I've been struggling a little lately and the phone call from her was exactly what I needed. ❤

God knows us. He hears us. He knows what we need and who we need it from. He knows your struggles, and your insecurities, and your doubts, and your wants, wishes, needs. He knows it all. He knows YOU and He loves you so, so much. And He will help you become better. He will give you the strength and determination to do what you want/need to. He will give you peace. He will give you the time that you need. He will make it all work out. He will. 

Xoxo

Mattie

"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

Something I have been thinking about lately is "alone time". Mainly because I feel like I've had a lot of it recently, but also because I'm never alone. Not really. I always have my Savior, and the Spirit, as my companion. Sometimes, even when I'm surrounded by friends, I feel alone or left out...it's not on purpose, it just happens. But these moments are great because I get to watch my friends talk and laugh and have fun and it makes me smile. I love watching them enjoy themselves. It gives me a chance to just live in the moment for awhile, and to just be. I'm glad when it happens because it's often when I needed to take a step back and gather myself together. I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His love and mercy in my life. He is always there and He knows what I need and when.

I LOVED sacrament meeting today! Brother and Sister Durfey spoke to us and I heard so much that I needed to hear. They're super great and so sweet and I love them. Here's a few of my favorite things that were said:
-Sin robs you of peace. It takes the Spirit away.
-God will put you where you need to be.
-The sooner you stop comparing your life to others', the sooner you will have peace in your life.
-It does not matter what you do, it matters who you are.
-Living the gospel makes it possible to live a life without regrets. (Sister Durfey said that even if it turns out that this gospel is wrong, she won't care, because living the gospel has made her a better person).
-If you can serve every day, it will make you happier (I already knew this one ;) )
~Our trials and challenges are made for us–to help us change, and become stronger, and test us.
~Satan uses doubt as a tool to distract us.
~Heavenly Father loves you and will never abandon you.

In Relief Society we talked about cultivating an attitude of happiness and a spirit of optimism, and here are a few things we talked about that can help:

1) Rather than dwell on our problems, we can let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless us.
• 2 Nephi 5:27: And it came to pass that we lived after a manner of happiness (emphasis added). They lived in such a way that happiness could come, even in times of trials or challenges.
• Let your problems be. Admit that they are, and they're hard, but let them be. Don't focus on them.
• If you're worrying, or have anxiety about things, you're not trusting the Lord. Put more trust in Him–things will work out.
• Recognize that God is there. 

2) The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us a reason for gladness.
• Try to look at things with an eternal perspective, and ask yourself if this is important or relevant to your eternal salvation. If the answer is no, let it go.
• Enjoy and endure life. President Hinckley said, "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." But we do have to endure to the end, don't forget. Heavenly Father loves us and has a plan for us that is going on, but it's not over yet.

3) With knowledge that we are all children of God, we can stand a little taller, rise a little higher, and be a little better.
• Have faith. We're all learning and growing.
• We have the capacity to be and do more than we are.
• Focus on who you are, regardless of where you are in life.

I'm not going to lie, being positive and optimistic all the time can be hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm not, and that's okay. But you have a choice to either be positive and optimistic most or all the time, or to be negative and pessimistic most or all of the time. It is your decision. But it will affect your life either way. In choosing to be positive/optimistic, you will see the better side of life, despite challenges and trials that may come your way. You will have the opportunity to see and recognize all the tender mercies. In choosing to be negative/pessimistic, you will have a hard time seeing all the good in your life. You will not be able to see or recognize the tender mercies in your life. That is not what life is all about! Life is supposed to include happy parts–fun outings with friends, family game nights, going on a date, having a relaxing night in. Life is supposed to encompass both ends of the spectrum, and it's not supposed to just be a ball of negative happenings.

I know that it's hard sometimes to look on the bright side of things. It's hard to be happy sometimes. That's okay. It's important to try, though sometimes you won't be able to look on the bright side or be happy, and that is okay. We're not perfect, and our lives aren't, either. But as you try to be optimistic, I know that you will be blessed. You can also ask your Heavenly Father for help to be optimistic. He loves you and wants you to be happy. Remember that you are loved and that things will get better in time–I promise. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Blessings on crazy days.

I feel like I need to say something today. Today was crazy!! I had an a cappella performance tonight so I couldn't work. So a couple of weeks ago I asked if someone could cover for me, and someone said he could. I was like, "Sweet!" So I tried to contact him the other day and make sure that he was still okay with covering for me. Nothing. I was like, "Okay, I'll try again tomorrow." Tomorrow as in yesterday. Nothing. I tried again this morning. NOTHING. By now, I'm freaking out and worried—worried that he wouldn't ever respond; worried that he'd be like, "Actually, I forgot, and now I can't"; worried what I would do. I didn't take my work clothes because I was counting on him to cover for me, but I was worried I'd have to go to work, so I'd have to run from my last class home to change for work—it would be a mess—I'd be a mess. Anyway, my first class was at noon so I just went to class. Finally, sometime between 1 and 3, I decided to comment on the post on the employee Facebook group that I had posted a couple weeks (make sense? I posted to the group a couple weeks ago and decided to comment again). HE RESPONDED! I was like, "Halle-freakin-lujah! Thank you!" And he was still able to cover for me. So grateful for that tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. He really does care for us and know how to soothe our souls. I love Him and am grateful for Him and His Son—my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to turn to and count on Him for anything and everything. Especially since I am a stresser and a worrier. I'm glad that I can turn to Him—though, I'll be honest, sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and stresses that I forget to turn to Him. But when I do remember to turn to Him, He's there, waiting. And He's there, keeping me up, and loving me, no matter what.

Being an instrument in the Lord's hands.

I have a story. It's actually a very longish story, so bear with me. 

Tuesday night (so, yesterday, May 5th, 2015) for Young Women's, we made truffles for our mothers for Mother's Day. Me being the kind and sweet person I am, I decided to make an additional one for my orchestra teacher--this year is her first Mother's Day with her baby outside of her womb. So, I okayed it with Sister Johnson and I made another one.

Today I had an AP test this morning, which means that I missed first period (my TA period for my orchestra teacher) and second period (orchestra), as well as third (not important, but it was Foods). After my test, I got lunch and ate with my friends and then went to the orchestra room to relax and tell my teacher how it went. Anyway, we talked a lot and she told me how her weekend was and I told her how my test went. I could tell she was a little stressed, annoyed, and tired. She's got a lot going on--our concert is on Tuesday and we have an awards banquet on Monday, and school is coming to a close so she's got grades to do, and we are playing at graduation. So, I went to fourth period, and, after okaying it with my teacher, I left a little early to help my orchestra teacher [Because a), she had asked me to. 2) I wanted to. Three) I felt bad that I had missed my TA period even though she'd already told me before that it was no big deal]. I helped her check and make sure she typed some of the awards correctly, and then I had to go. I later contacted her about something my brothers had done, and then I sent her a music pun:

Realizing as I read it that it may have sounded like I was calling her an angry conductor, I quickly clarified that I didn't think that she was an angry orchestra conductor, I just thought that "tempo tantrum" was hilarious. And then she told me that she'd locked her keys in her car (When I get a car, I am sure I will do this several times) and I felt so bad for her because she'd been having a rough day, and so I sent her this picture: 

And then I just told her that I was sorry that she'd had a bad day. I let her know that I know that she works hard and that I know she's trying and I said that I really admire and look up to her and I know that she's amazing. And then she thanked me and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside, like when you know you've done something good. And then I realized about an hour or so ago that I was giving her the chocolates on Friday! She loves chocolate. And I was like, "I've been an instrument in the Lord's hands! I'm going to be an instrument in His hands! I'm going to make her week awesome!"And I just know that the Lord helped me know what to say to her, and when to say it to her, and I know that He inspired me to make a box of chocolates for her so that she would feel loved, important, of worth, and that she was doing something right. 

In the October 2000 General Conference, in her talk "We Are Instruments in the Hands of God", Sister Mary Ellen Smoot said, "Service is a key to being an effective instrument." And today I served my orchestra teacher by letting her know that I saw her, and that I know that she is trying. I let her know that she is amazing, and I admire and look up to her. She may have felt like she wasn't doing a good job, but I let her know that she was, and I didn't even know that she felt like she wasn't doing a good job. 

God works in mysterious ways–I only knew part of the story, but I was able to address the whole story, and I know that that was because of Heavenly Father. I know that He watches out for us. I know that He loves and cares for us. I know that He sends us what we need when we need it through others. I know that we are instruments in the Lord's hands when we serve others and when we do anything Christlike. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Tender mercies. God loves you. You are not alone.

For seminary, we have to have our bishop send something to the seminary so that they know that we are on track for seminary graduation. Well, I went in, and it came up that I was having some troubles.
And my bishop told me that God loves me. Doesn't matter what I do, my worth to Him will never change.
I am His daughter–I am a daughter of a King––the Almighty God––and He loves me––imperfect, and mistaken, and broken.
He wants me to turn to Him. He wants me to tell Him what is going on in my life. He wants me to turn to Him. He wants me to talk to Him, to pray to Him. That meeting was a tender mercy. I never knew until that moment that I had needed to hear that God loves me no matter what, and that I am His daughter, and that I am not alone. Such a tender mercy! I have always known those things, but I guess recently it hadn't really stuck with me, so hearing it from my bishop was a tender mercy. Because my bishop wants me to–and I really want to and I need to–I am going to try and be better about my prayers and scripture study. It's going to be a little difficult at first, but I know I can do it with Heavenly Father's help.

I give my love to all!

<3 Mattie

Tender Mercies.

I'm getting sick, which isn't the most pleasant feeling in the world. Luckily I don't have school tomorrow so I can sleep in a bit and get some needed rest, as well as do some homework and get some practice in.

We learned about tender mercies in Sunday School today. Story time: I don't like Snickers candy bars--I don't like nuts, and the ones in Snickers bars bother my throat--but apparently I haven't made it clear enough to my friends because as part of my Christmas gift, she gave me a bag of mini snickers. I didn't have the heart to tell her I don't like snickers--who would do that? Open a gift and say, "Actually, I don't like snickers. Thanks for the thought"? Not me--but they're so little and cute I could barely taste the nuts. What a tender mercy. Usually when I eat the fun size snickers--I will not pass up an opportunity for chocolate. I usually suck the chocolate off the nuts--the nuts bother my throat. But with the minis, I could barely taste them through all of the chocolate. So that was a tender mercy from God. I'm so thankful for tender mercies! They are the little things in your day that make you feel loved and feel like you are not alone. Some days I just feel so out-of-place, but then Heavenly Father sends me little things that remind me that He is there and He loves me. And, as I've said before, it's the little things that matter and make you feel loved. I felt so loved today because, even though I'm sick, I was able to go to church and feel His love and learn what He needed me to learn. I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father and I am so thankful for tender mercies. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Tender mercies. Technology. Angels.

Twelfth: I'm grateful for tender mercies. I had a library book due that I forgot to turn in (well, renew, actually...I still need it) and when I went in to the library yesterday it was closed, so I couldn't renew it. So I went in today and was worried I'd have to pay a fine (which I've never ever had one before) but I didn't. So I'm grateful that I didn't have a fine and that I was able to renew. 

Numero trece: I'm grateful for technology. I love being connected with my friends and family that live far away. So I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have to communicate with my family and friends. 

#6: (I accidentally forgot this one. Oops!) I'm grateful for angels. The ones in heaven and the ones on earth. They help me and they listen and it's just so nice to have them around me. So I'm grateful for helping hands and influences. 

Tender mercies.

Sometimes you get so tempted, or so lost, and you don't know what to do. You know you're lost but you can't find the way back. You've tried and tried and tried on your own but it just hasn't worked out. You may have been back for a little bit but then, unfortunately, you strayed again. So, in your heart, and out loud, you ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness, and you ask Him to help you. And then He sends you someone. He'll send you someone that you'll look up to, and whom you'll love and adore an awful lot, who believes the same things you do (note that they may not always), and you'll start to change, to try and be a better person, so that you can be like them and, slowly but surely, that temptation will just fade. It will not be so tempting, and you won't want to do it anymore. And you'll look back and you'll think, "What was I thinking? Life is soo much better without it." And you'll be forever thankful for that person, even though they might not ever know it. They were just living their life, and didn't even know that you needed something from them. But The Lord did, and so He put them in your life. The Lord works miracles, and He sends tender mercies, and I can't help but love Him. He can't help but love and help me. I was seriously in a deep, deep pickle and I didn't think I could get out of it. I had been trying and trying to get out of it for at least one school year. And then there was high school. Someone was put in my life that made me want to be a better person. I saw what life could bring me and I wanted it, but I knew that my temptation wouldn't bring me the lifelong happiness I so desperately wanted. So, slowly and surely, I was able to stop being tempted by my temptation, and I replaced it with good things, like scripture study and working on my Personal Progress. And now, I can happily say that I don't remember the last time I was tempted by that particular temptation because it's been a while. And I know that Heavenly Father blessed me by sending her to me, because she (unknowingly) helped me get over my temptation. And I will forever be thankful to my Heavenly Father, and I will forever be thankful for her. I have seen the hand of The Lord in my life so many times and, each time, I never realize it until afterwards. But His influence is always there. His tender mercies may not always be so bold. Sometimes it may be something as simple as a butterfly, or a smile from a stranger, a beautiful day after rain, or even a bright sunny day. It might even be a simple phrase from someone or the scriptures. Whatever the tender mercy, they're always there. They're in our life all the time, whether or not we recognize or realize them.