"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

Something I have been thinking about lately is "alone time". Mainly because I feel like I've had a lot of it recently, but also because I'm never alone. Not really. I always have my Savior, and the Spirit, as my companion. Sometimes, even when I'm surrounded by friends, I feel alone or left out...it's not on purpose, it just happens. But these moments are great because I get to watch my friends talk and laugh and have fun and it makes me smile. I love watching them enjoy themselves. It gives me a chance to just live in the moment for awhile, and to just be. I'm glad when it happens because it's often when I needed to take a step back and gather myself together. I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His love and mercy in my life. He is always there and He knows what I need and when.

I LOVED sacrament meeting today! Brother and Sister Durfey spoke to us and I heard so much that I needed to hear. They're super great and so sweet and I love them. Here's a few of my favorite things that were said:
-Sin robs you of peace. It takes the Spirit away.
-God will put you where you need to be.
-The sooner you stop comparing your life to others', the sooner you will have peace in your life.
-It does not matter what you do, it matters who you are.
-Living the gospel makes it possible to live a life without regrets. (Sister Durfey said that even if it turns out that this gospel is wrong, she won't care, because living the gospel has made her a better person).
-If you can serve every day, it will make you happier (I already knew this one ;) )
~Our trials and challenges are made for us–to help us change, and become stronger, and test us.
~Satan uses doubt as a tool to distract us.
~Heavenly Father loves you and will never abandon you.

In Relief Society we talked about cultivating an attitude of happiness and a spirit of optimism, and here are a few things we talked about that can help:

1) Rather than dwell on our problems, we can let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless us.
• 2 Nephi 5:27: And it came to pass that we lived after a manner of happiness (emphasis added). They lived in such a way that happiness could come, even in times of trials or challenges.
• Let your problems be. Admit that they are, and they're hard, but let them be. Don't focus on them.
• If you're worrying, or have anxiety about things, you're not trusting the Lord. Put more trust in Him–things will work out.
• Recognize that God is there. 

2) The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us a reason for gladness.
• Try to look at things with an eternal perspective, and ask yourself if this is important or relevant to your eternal salvation. If the answer is no, let it go.
• Enjoy and endure life. President Hinckley said, "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." But we do have to endure to the end, don't forget. Heavenly Father loves us and has a plan for us that is going on, but it's not over yet.

3) With knowledge that we are all children of God, we can stand a little taller, rise a little higher, and be a little better.
• Have faith. We're all learning and growing.
• We have the capacity to be and do more than we are.
• Focus on who you are, regardless of where you are in life.

I'm not going to lie, being positive and optimistic all the time can be hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm not, and that's okay. But you have a choice to either be positive and optimistic most or all the time, or to be negative and pessimistic most or all of the time. It is your decision. But it will affect your life either way. In choosing to be positive/optimistic, you will see the better side of life, despite challenges and trials that may come your way. You will have the opportunity to see and recognize all the tender mercies. In choosing to be negative/pessimistic, you will have a hard time seeing all the good in your life. You will not be able to see or recognize the tender mercies in your life. That is not what life is all about! Life is supposed to include happy parts–fun outings with friends, family game nights, going on a date, having a relaxing night in. Life is supposed to encompass both ends of the spectrum, and it's not supposed to just be a ball of negative happenings.

I know that it's hard sometimes to look on the bright side of things. It's hard to be happy sometimes. That's okay. It's important to try, though sometimes you won't be able to look on the bright side or be happy, and that is okay. We're not perfect, and our lives aren't, either. But as you try to be optimistic, I know that you will be blessed. You can also ask your Heavenly Father for help to be optimistic. He loves you and wants you to be happy. Remember that you are loved and that things will get better in time–I promise. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Challenges bring me closer to Christ.

Well, this week was challenging.

To give you a short rundown as to why, I fell off of my bed onto my knees on Sunday night, and Monday morning I woke up with my lower back/upper leg hurting (on the right side, but that's not important).

After being in pain all day, getting up and down from my seat in classes, and just walking around, I was able to go to the urgent care that night (courtesy of my friend with a car who was kind enough to drive me). After some questions and tests of pain tolerance (basically he had me move my legs around and asked when and where it hurt), he concluded that I'd fallen in just the right way on my knees that some of the muscles in my back spasmed. I basically got a Charlie horse in my back. Go figure. Anywho, he prescribed me heat, a muscle relaxant before bed, no bending, he told me to take 3 ibuprofen, he told me to have patience [the one thing I lack ;)]. So I went to the pharmacy (still courtesy of my friend) and picked up the relaxant, and then I went home. My grandpa dropped off a heat pad for me. So I got ready for bed and took the relaxant. I could feel when it started to take effect (it made my insides all fuzzy), and then *bam*! I was out like a light. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most, my pain was at about a 7.

Tuesday I had work, and it was a little awkward, getting used to not being able to bend without pain (I had to squat and I felt like a pregnant lady, hahaha), but I managed to get through the day just fine. I was able to get a priesthood blessing from some of the young men in my ward and I am so grateful for the worthy young men in my ward! I heard some things that I needed to hear. Also, apparently, that night the relaxant made me high...I saw these creepy purple tentacles with teeth on the end and had this weird feeling of my body shrinking and I questioned how my insides could fit...well, inside me. ;) My pain was about a 7 again. Not too much different from Monday, but slightly better.

Wednesday I had classes, and I was able to get through the day without too much trouble, though it was still painful. Some of the girls in my hall and I went to deliver valentine's gifts to some of the boys in our ward (we split them up between the three Relief Societies). And of course I forgot that I was in pain and I started to jump and skip like normal. Nope–bad idea. Anyway, learned my lesson the hard way and walked the rest of the time. Was able to go to bed relatively quickly. On the same scale, this day my pain was about a 6.

Thursday I had work again, and I had to work all by myself for about an hour and a half because I'm the only student worker right now, and all of the chefs had a meeting, so I had to hold down the fort. I did a great job. :) After work, I studied for a test and walked up to the testing center to take it; then I went back home and was able to have dinner with some friends (I think...I can't remember hahaha). Then we had ward prayer later that night and after that I went to bed. My pain was about a 4.5 or 5 that day.

Friday I had classes again, but it was less painful today!! There was still pain, yes, but not quite so much! After classes, I did some things–think I tried to read some, and started to pack (I came home this weekend), and I listened to music (as always). Went to dinner with my friends for awhile, and then after that, I decided to practice my violin and then I did some more packing, and some more listening to music. Then I got ready for bed and took a little while to get to sleep but I did. :) My pain was about a 4.

Saturday (today) was pretty painless. There's still some pain, but it's not quite as bad. My muscles must be almost done relaxing! I hope so! I was pretty much done with the pain and the waiting by Tuesday morning!

Some of the things I learned this week:

• Maybe not you, but I can injure my back by falling on my knees. (I have the luck of falling just right, but you probably don't have that luck. Lucky!)
• I am so grateful for priesthood blessings!! I love that I can turn to all of the young men in my ward and ask for a priesthood blessing! God knew exactly what I needed to hear in that prayer. 
• Following the doctor's orders of not bending down was less painful! Who knew? ;)
• I have some of the greatest friends in the world. I have some very sweet, kind, and thoughtful hallmates and friends, and I am so grateful for them!! Sometimes I feel sad, left out, or forgotten, but there are always those girls that say hi to me as they walk by my room, or they invite me to eat dinner with them, and I love that! It makes me feel loved and important. <3
• I am so grateful for humor! My friends have made me laugh many times this week, which has been a great blessing. I had to learn to be positive throughout this experience (yes, me) and having a great time with my friends was a blessing. :)
• Finally, I learned that I am grateful for this experience. At the beginning of the week, I was talking to myself and arguing about which day would have been best for me to have injured myself, and I finally decided that yes, Monday was the best day–I won't explain to you why because you won't get it (I barely do). I was also trying to figure out what I could learn from this experience. As you can see, I learned quite a lot. But this last one–this last lesson–was by far the biggest blessing from this experience. This week has been challenging–I had to learn to work with/around my pain. And sometimes it was hard. But I did it!! I am SO grateful for all of my friends' support and love this week. This experience helped me realize that I'm not forgotten, and I'm not alone. God is always there, and when I need something, He will send me His love through my friends. Sometimes I have to put myself out there, but He will show me how much He loves me by sending me my friends. 

Wow...

As I've been thinking about this experience, I've been thinking about what I learned. 

In the moments of this week, I wasn't thinking about what I was learning. To be honest, most of the time I was thinking, "This is painful, and I just want to be done so that I can rest and not move." Maybe not in so many words, but that was the gist of it. 

But as I've been going back through this week, I realized many of these things that I learned I probably couldn't have learned in any other way. 

I could sit here and try to explain, but I'm having trouble coming up with all of the right words, so I'm just going to say this: my quote this week was "All you need is Jesus Christ." And I definitely learned that this week. This challenging experience has brought me closer to Christ. My Savior has been with me this whole week–though my friends. My friends are definitely Christlike in every way, and they have been such a blessing to have this week. I love them and I am so grateful that they were there for me this week, and that they were loving, and kind, and thoughtful. I know that they listened to the Spirit this week because they came when I needed them. <3

Be positive about who you are.

"I am a unique, amazing, superhero kind of person. There will never be another me. I am the one who will decide how I will feel about myself. I am my goodness, my character, my talents and my kindness. This is who I am. What other people think of me doesn't matter. If they say mean things about me, it doesn't change my value. I am still the same me. I can ignore mean comments because I am a good and important person, and nothing will ever charge that. I know who I am. My value comes from the fact that I am unique. I don't waste time comparing myself to other people. I am the perfect me and they are the perfect them. Our differences make us both amazing. My life is a classroom and I am here to learn and grow. Every experience I have teaches me something. I am right on track in my process of leaning. I am doing great. If I make a mistake, I apologize and work to do better in the future. I am still a good person. It was just a lesson. No one is better or worse than anyone else. We all have the same value. I choose to see every person as the same as me. I never gossip, criticize or judge other people. We are all doing the best we can with what we know. We are all learning and growing. I can forgive others. I am here to help other people. I am always looking for people who need help or friendship. I am a friend to all. I have the power to treat people with love and kindness, even when they don't deserve it. I do this because I am a kind person. I choose my attitude in each situation. I can choose to feel bad about myself and scared. Or I can choose to feel like a superhero--strong, safe and loving. I choose a positive attitude every time. I believe in myself. I have everything I need to succeed in life. I am the amazing me."

I was going back through my Facebook posts, and I found this one. This is from a piece of paper that I assume I got in Young Women's, but I don't remember. Anyway! I love this!!! It's very uplifting and inspirational. You are who you are meant to be, and you are so amazing! "There is no one alive who is you-er than you!" (Dr. Seuss). God loves you and He made you just how He wants you to be. Be positive and happy about who you are. Attitude is everything.