Christ can take our pain and make it into a blessing.

This week has been crazy–what with finishing my last finals, starting my job full-time, and technically kind of having an emotional breakdown as one chapter of my life was ending and a new one is beginning. I think that I've felt every emotion under the sun and then some this week.

Learning patience, tolerance, and other emotions like that sucks. I wish that I could just see where God wants me to be. Or what He wants me to do. Or learn. I wish I could trust Him more in different aspects of my life. It's rough, you know? I just want to be with someone who will make me happy who I can make happy, and who I can build a life with...but my life is more than just a path, more than just a journey, more than just a destination...my life is a CHANCE. A chance to be someone better. A chance at happiness. And it starts with me. Even if I already feel like I've been doing everything right, God knows when the TIMING is right.

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Brother Smith talked in sacrament meeting about a few scriptures in the 2nd Epistle of Peter, and there were a few things that he talked about that I wanted to mention. He asked a question: How do we get from faith to charity? And then he answered the question. My favorite thing that he talked about was the definition of virtue. He said that virtue means to do good, and to be good, and I loved that! It gave a new meaning to the scripture "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly". Virtue is goodness and if we let GOODNESS garnish our thoughts, life will be better.

In Relief Society, we talked about the General Conference talk by Tad R. Callister entitled "The Atonement of Jesus Christ" and I loved all of the comments and the direction that the discussion went in.

We talked about forgiveness, and how forgiveness comes from love. We talked about how God's forgiveness and forgiveness from others in our life are not entangled together. You can still be forgiven by God, even if those in our life do not forgive us. I thought that was a beautiful thought. No matter what happens, you can be forgiven by God.

We talked about how people can CHANGE and how we need to see people as they ARE and not as they WERE. I think that this is such an important reminder–not only about others, but as ourselves, too. I know that I have struggled with this at times in my life, but I am not the same person as I was. Even if it doesn't seem like I have changed much sometimes, I know deep down that I have changed a lot. I need to let myself stay changed, and we need to let others stay changed.

Our Savior is always with us–and no matter what we go through, He will be there to strengthen us. He will be there to help us deal with the pain, and the struggles, and He will be there to help us learn and grow from it. He will be there to help us find the blessings in our trials.

I have two things to share now. One is a little thought I had during the last little bit of Relief Society.

TRUST. Trust is HARD. Trusting a Being that you can't see is hard, too. 

PATIENCE. Patience is HARD. Patiently waiting for blessings to come is hard, too. 

FAITH. Faith is HARD. Having faith that everything will turn out all right is hard, too. 

Faith is the pathway to happiness. As we trust the Lord, and are patient, those things that we want will come in time. 

The other thing is this: life is easier said than done. But as we take little steps in the direction that we want, God will bless us with the confirmation that it is right, or the knowledge that it is not right. I am still learning to accept this, and to accept that right now, God wants me to choose of the things that I have been pondering, and that any one of them is going to be right. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED that I am going to make the wrong decision...but I need to trust that God will take the one I choose and use it to help me grow and change.

Xoxo
Mattie

Life is messy.

Today was our multi-stake conference, and I'm really grateful for the things that I heard today. I definitely needed to hear a lot of the messages today! I'm going to share a few of my favorites. :)

Even though we missed the beginning of Elder Cook's talk, I loved what he said about the Book of Mormon. He said, "There is power in the Book of Mormon." I fully believe it. I am reading the Book of Mormon for my religion class, and it's been a source of peace and comfort, and has given me strength as I've read it.

Sister Franco talked about being of good cheer.
1. Understand that we have a Father in Heaven and a Savior who loves us.
2. Understand that we have a Heavenly Father who gave us commandments to help us be happy.
3. Understand the importance of gratitude in our lives.
4. Understand that service brings joy to our lives.

Elder Uceda said that, "Mighty prayers overcome apathy." He said that mighty prayers are prayers from the heart. My favorite thing he said was, "As we search the scriptures, understanding comes to our mind, and doubts go away."

Elder Stevenson talked about humility, obedience, and virtue.
Humility:
Humility is willingness to submit to the Lord. The opposite of humility is pride, which gives honor to ourselves, it's competitive, and causes us to hold grudges or withhold forgiveness. He said that meekness, humility, and forgiveness are all cousins. I thought that was a great way of showing how closely related they are.

Obedience:
Obedience is the first law of heaven, and an act of faith. It's a safety and protection for us. It brings blessings, and those blessings bring happiness.

Virtue:
Virtue originates in our innermost thoughts. It is a prerequisite to receiving the Spirit's guidance. He said that reduced screen time and increased scripture study may increase virtue. I thought that was really interesting! But also true, I'm sure. I know I'm more focused and attentive when I'm spending a lot more time out doing things (though that's hard to do during the school year, especially when all of your math homework is online).

Diligent efforts can lead to Christlike attributes becoming or being second nature. Our journey to achieve Christlike attributes requires discipline.

He also shared this quote from Howard W. Hunter: "Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again." 

I loved this quote so much! I think sometimes we often forget the beauty and grace that is around us. We forget how awesome it is to lift someone's spirits. We forget how beautiful the earth around us is. We forget who loves us. We forget how blessed we truly are, and we forget that those blessings will always come.

This week was the first week of school for me, and I honestly struggled a bit. The first day was fine, but after the second day, when I was looking to the homework I needed to do, I got overwhelmed at all of the homework I was going to have over the whole semester for all of my classes and I kind of had a panic attack. Friday was a little bit better, but Saturday was a giant mess, because I worked from 8-4 and then the football game was Saturday night and it was a struggle getting into the game. But my friends and I made it, and it was fun watching the game with them.

I realized some things about myself this week, and this weekend, and I really need to work on a couple of things. I'm kind of nervous, just because I hate adding to my pile of things to do, but I'm hoping that I can just work them into my life and not specifically have to worry about them or deal with it. It'll just kind of...be a part of my life, and exist. Except life is messy, so that might not happen.  But! I have God on my side, and He knows where I am going, and what I need to do to get there. So, even though things might not happen the way I plan or want them to, things will happen, and I will grow, and change, and become who I need to be.

I hope you have had a great Sunday and weekend! I hope you've learned some things, and made some goals to improve. There's always room for improvement. I am grateful for my Savior, who is always willing to help me improve and progress. I'm grateful for friends, and family, who are always willing to listen, and always willing to help. I'm grateful for new experiences, difficult times, and trials that help me stretch and grow, and get out of my comfort zone. I've never really said this before, but I'm grateful for emotions, and feelings, and the fact that I get to feel so deeply. Sometimes it's hard, and painful, and messy, and I just want to not feel so intensely, but the painful times are worth all the happy and joyous ones that I experience so often. God is good, and I am blessed.

Xoxo
Mattie

Today was kind of hard. But that's okay.

So, as the title says, today was kind of hard. But that's okay. Hard times make me stronger (though, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wish I could become stronger in other ways). This morning was super fun–I went to rehearsal today and, though some of the pieces are challenging, I am excited. It's going to be so much fun!! Plus, I love spending time with my friend. :) After rehearsal, though, I was just so overwhelmed. I have a nature experience proposal due in Biology on Monday and I have absolutely NO idea what to do. It has been bothering me all day, and it is what has made today hard (that, plus the fact that my shoulders/back are super sore for who-knows-why and are killing me). But I was really looking forward to the General Women's Broadcast tonight. :) I was super excited!! I was not disappointed!! It was such a great session! I loved it! I am so excited for General Conference next weekend!! There were SO many good messages spoken that I needed to hear!!!

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom said:

Life is a gift, and God has a plan for each of us.

Our divine nature comes from God.

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become.

I love this. This is such a great reminder that we are His, and He has a plan for us, and all that we have been blessed with comes from Him. <3

Sister Linda S. Reeves said:

We will be blessed if we exercise faith in our Father and go to Him.

The reward is so great, so eternal...

As we keep our lives pure and clean...we will one day receive all that the Father hath.

I love this! We will be blessed as we keep His commandments–I love that she got emotional as she talked about how, when we see the Father in Heaven, we will be amazed at how awesome the reward is, and how all we had to do was get through our trials that seem extremely hard now, but, in the end, will be nothing compared to the reward. <3

Sister Carol F. McConkie said:

We must love one another and see in one another the beauty of the soul.

In the strength of the Lord we can do all things.

We repent so that we may be better.

"In this cause [FYI, she said that "we are here to serve a righteous cause"] we are all valued. We are all needed. The righteous cause we serve is the cause of Christ. It is the work of salvation."

I love this. I can't even add anything to it. <3

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

He told a story about a young girl who visited her Great-Aunt Rose over the summer while the girl's mother recovered from a surgery. These are some of the things he said as he told the story:

If we trust Him, we can find the brighter, happier things in life.

The best things take patience and work.

Brooding and worrying makes it worse. (this stood out to me in particular. <3 <3 <3)

God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy.

Now is part of eternity. 

Faith will fortify every step of the way.

I love President Uchtdorf! This was such a good talk! I loved the story! Such a cute story, and very relatable. <3 <3

I absolutely LOVED this session!!!! God is watching out for me and He knows exactly what I need. <3 <3 <3 Can't wait for next weekend!!!

Xoxo
Mattie