God blessed the broken road.

I am feeling so grateful and blessed! It has been quite a week! What with feeling pumped from conference, getting a bunch of calls from places that I applied to, getting 1st place at the BYU Fulton Conference in the college of Family Life, to getting A JOB FOR AFTER GRADUATION! I am so excited for it! I can't believe my dreams are coming true! I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father! I know that He has been blessing me lately, even when I couldn't always see it. I am thankful for the confirmation from Him that this is what He wants me to do.

Yesterday I went to the temple and I ran into two friends and it was so nice to see them! I also was able to really just feel the Spirit, and feel confirmation and peace about the things that I have planned for the future.

I absolutely LOVED the talks in sacrament meeting today! Sarah talked a lot about personal revelation, spiritual experiences, and gaining a testimony. My favorite thing that she talked about was how mental health, spirituality, and revelation go hand-in-hand. Sometimes your body can't receive revelation and you think that God isn't talking to you but that's not true. He is always there and He is always speaking to you. I really loved it because I've felt like God isn't speaking to me, and looking back, it's been in the past few years...which is when my mental health took a decline. So my body wasn't capable of receiving revelation...because my mind was sick. Once Sarah put that thought into words, things made a lot more sense.

In Relief Society today we talked about what we loved about conference. I loved what someone said she got from conference...She said, "Don't judge...just help each other and do your best." I love this because I got a similar message from conference. I got a message of love, service, and just trying your best.

Someone said, "Everything makes sense with the gospel because everything is because of the gospel." I loved that. Life is made easier with the gospel–with Christ–because everything is because of the gospel, and because of Christ. When my life is centered in Christ, and in the gospel, everything makes sense. I might not always understand what's going on, but I know that, no matter what, He is with me, and He loves me.

One of the last things we were talking about was how we should step forward and trust the Lord. Take His promptings for you and show Him that you trust Him. I really feel like I have been trying to do this lately. I have been trying to show Him that I trust Him. I realized that I needed to choose. I needed to make a decision about where I wanted to go. I had been asking and asking Heavenly Father to help guide me to making the decision...but I wasn't getting an answer. I felt like He was silent...but looking back, His silence was the answer. He left the decision up to me. So when I finally made a decision...I told Him if He didn't approve of my decision, He'd have to be very obvious in letting me know that He had a different idea for me. And He paved the way for me to get the job, so I knew that He approved of my choice.

I am very blessed and grateful for so many things that I have been blessed with...the blessing of music, the blessing of family, the blessing of love, the blessing of revelation, and the blessing of peace. I am so grateful for loving friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.

I know that things happen for a reason, and I know that God has led me to today, and to this job. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a part of something that I love and something that inspires me. I am so excited for the future and for the next adventures of my life! I am grateful that my Heavenly Father is so loving and kind. I am grateful that He is always there for me and that He supports me in all of my endeavors and dreams.

Xoxo
Mattie

He does not give up on you.

You never realize just how much you have to work on changing and improving yourself until you're studying the scriptures. And spending time with people. No one on earth is perfect. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes. We all have times where we struggle. But with Him, we can overcome. With Him, we can start again. And again. And again. With Him, we can keep trying. Though we will never be perfect in this life, we can align ourselves on the path with which we can someday become perfect through Christ. He will be with us every step of the way, and He won't let us fall.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to perform in sacrament meeting today! I'm grateful for Carrie and Megan, who agreed to perform with me and accompany me. They really helped make the experience amazing. I wasn't really super nervous until right before we were performing but it went amazingly and surprisingly well! I'm grateful for the message of "A Child's Prayer" and for the love that is so evident in the song. I'm grateful for the Spirit, and for the love that He helps us feel, and for the answers He helps us receive, and for the comfort and assurances that He gives.

I have had a really great week and weekend. I have learned a lot from my scripture study, and from talking and experiencing life with my friends. I've learned that I need to start being grateful for things that I do, and have, and not stress so much about things that I don't, and don't have. I learned that I can do amazing things and that I am stronger than I think I am. I learned that I am doing good things, but I can be doing better. I learned that there is moderation in all things, including emotions, which is something that I'd never thought about before, but RD (my therapist) brought it up on Friday and I really loved that. I learned that I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life and that I need to look past the surface, and focus on the essence. I need to take the little pieces, and use them to make something bigger, and brighter, and more beautiful. I learned that I am beginning to see myself differently, and on the whole, it's a good different. I learned that there is more to me than what I think, and I learned that there is more to life than what I think.

Have courage and be kind.

Well today was a great day! I performed "Oh Holy Night" in sacrament meeting and I was infinitely less nervous to perform today (that may be partly because I wasn't the only one performing today, but it may also be partly because it is a Christmas song and I love Christmas music. Who knows, though) and it was so good! I did so well, and I didn't mess up on some parts that I had trouble with when I was practicing. So that was great! Hats off to my accompanist because she's awesome. :) Sacrament meeting was just so good today. We had seven people/groups perform Christmas numbers, and it was so beautiful and spiritually uplifting. So grateful for my ward and all of the beautifully talented people in it. :)


In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about how God shows His love for us, and how we can show our love for Him. 

God shows His love for us in many ways, but one of the most important ways is that He sent His Son to save us. He loved (and loves us) so much that He sent His Son to die for us so that we could return to Him again. 
We show our love for God by keeping His commandments, and by being His hands and loving and serving those around us. 

In Relief Society, we talked about feeding Jesus' sheep. We talked about loving the people, and serving them. We talked about (for non/less active members) not pushing the gospel onto them. Just be there for them–be their friend, love them, serve them. Show them that you genuinely care, and that you see them. Show them that they mean something to you, and that they're not just a number. Just let them know that someone cares for them, and someone wants the best for them. I love my relief society. The girls in my hall are the BEST!!!! I love them all so much and they have all made me a better person, and they've helped strengthen my testimony and I'm so grateful for them!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

People are imperfect. People make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that God doesn't love them any less. That also doesn't mean that they are worth less. We are all precious in His sight. He wants us all to feel (and be) loved and safe. And since He Himself cannot be here to do so, He sends people to us. He sends us to others. We can be the answer to someone's prayers or needs. "Have courage and be kind." I literally just decided that that is going to be my quote this week: Have courage and be kind. But that quote is also kind of my life motto. I don't care who you are, or what you've done (yes, I accidentally quoted the Backstreet Boys, but I don't care. And it was an accident, I promise) but I will be kind to you. Even if you are not kind to me. I will always be kind to you. Because that is what Jesus would do, and I am trying to be like Jesus. I'm not perfect–far from it–but with and through Christ, I can become perfected. Life can be tough, but I love to make other people happy and I've found that making other people happy makes me happy. And by making other people happy, I make God happy. So it comes full circle because knowing God makes me happy. :)