One thing at a time.

I am happy to say that my cold is slowly disappearing!! Today I have felt the most amazing I have felt in the last three weeks!! I'm so blessed, too, because today I was singing in sacrament meeting, so I needed my voice at its utmost best today. And the musical number was absolutely beautiful!! We sang "If The Savior Stood Beside Me" and I am soo grateful for my friends who accompanied me on the piano and flute! It was a wonderful experience and it really brought the Spirit.

Yesterday, my aunt and uncle were able to be sealed to their newly adopted daughter, and I was lucky enough to be able to go. It was such a beautiful experience and I am so glad that I got to be there. It was a special experience.

During sacrament meeting, the speakers talked about challenges. One speaker said that God teaches us during small challenges to help us during bigger challenges. I really liked this. Because it is really true. He teaches us line upon line, precept on precept. And it only makes sense that He teaches us during small challenges how to deal with our bigger challenges.

For example, I recently FINALLY have almost finishing getting over biting my nails!! I've been working on this for YEARS! And only in the last few weeks have I super focused on my goal, and made it work! I don't know why it has taken me so long, and of course, I'm going to have to focus on it really hard if I want to make sure that I don't bite my nails again, but I'm sure that I can do it. For the first time in a long time, I actually have nails, and I am SO determined to keep them.

Anyway, looking back at my experience with biting my nails, I can learn lots of things. One thing I have learned is that sometimes you just have to keep. trying. I have tried so many things over the years, and they haven't always worked. So many times, I have wanted to give up. Sometimes, I did. I thought, "This is too hard. This is impossible. I can't do it." And I stopped for a time. And then I would want to try again. And it was a giant roller coaster of ups and downs. I kept going, kept trying.

As I have thought about this, I've decided that this can apply to many things in life, and I want to try to apply it in my life better. Right now, I am struggling at work. I think it's because I have had a lot of influx and outflow of children in my classroom, and so they dynamic of my room has been changing every week, so the kids are probably going a little nuts. Frankly, I understand where they're coming from. I also am going a little nuts. It has been a crazy couple of weeks, and I am not sure how the next couple of weeks are going to go, but I am certain that as I focus on one thing at a time, and as I focus on making sure that my kiddos understand that I love them, I think that the next few weeks will be better.

I know that I can't do this alone. I think one thing that has made it difficult these last few weeks is that I haven't exactly been asking for as much help as I've needed. I'm going to try better this week to improve at asking for help when I need it–and even before I need it.

One of the speakers in sacrament meeting today shared this quote, and I needed its reminder today. Honestly, these last few weeks, I have wanted to quit my job. It has been way hard and very taxing on my body & soul. I have thought that I can't do this and that I'm not cut out for it. But I have kept going because I don't have anything else to do right now. My friend this weekend told me that I can do this! She believes in me, and she thinks I am cut out for this. She said it gets easier with time, and I hope she's right (she is). I just need to remember to focus on one thing at a time. Which is really how I have been getting over biting my nails–one nail at a time. Who knew such a small trial would impact how I get through much bigger trials? God sure did. I'm glad that He is on my side because with Him, I will not become lost. 

Have a wonderful week! God loves you, and so do I! 

Xoxo

Mattie

He does not give up on you.

You never realize just how much you have to work on changing and improving yourself until you're studying the scriptures. And spending time with people. No one on earth is perfect. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes. We all have times where we struggle. But with Him, we can overcome. With Him, we can start again. And again. And again. With Him, we can keep trying. Though we will never be perfect in this life, we can align ourselves on the path with which we can someday become perfect through Christ. He will be with us every step of the way, and He won't let us fall.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to perform in sacrament meeting today! I'm grateful for Carrie and Megan, who agreed to perform with me and accompany me. They really helped make the experience amazing. I wasn't really super nervous until right before we were performing but it went amazingly and surprisingly well! I'm grateful for the message of "A Child's Prayer" and for the love that is so evident in the song. I'm grateful for the Spirit, and for the love that He helps us feel, and for the answers He helps us receive, and for the comfort and assurances that He gives.

I have had a really great week and weekend. I have learned a lot from my scripture study, and from talking and experiencing life with my friends. I've learned that I need to start being grateful for things that I do, and have, and not stress so much about things that I don't, and don't have. I learned that I can do amazing things and that I am stronger than I think I am. I learned that I am doing good things, but I can be doing better. I learned that there is moderation in all things, including emotions, which is something that I'd never thought about before, but RD (my therapist) brought it up on Friday and I really loved that. I learned that I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life and that I need to look past the surface, and focus on the essence. I need to take the little pieces, and use them to make something bigger, and brighter, and more beautiful. I learned that I am beginning to see myself differently, and on the whole, it's a good different. I learned that there is more to me than what I think, and I learned that there is more to life than what I think.

Tune my heart to sing thy grace.

It's been a pretty great weekend! Loved the messages in church, and I got to visit with my family yesterday, so that was fun! I was able to think about how grateful I am for my family today during the sacrament.

I am so grateful for my family. I went home Friday night so I could do some things in my room on Saturday and it was so great to spend time with my family! I'm grateful that we get to be together forever! I'm grateful that Jesus Christ died and was resurrected so that we can be resurrected someday, and live forever with our families. I am blessed to have an amazing family, and I love them and am so grateful for them. They make life better.

In Sunday School, we talked about building the kingdom of God. We talked about how the Saints were told to build a temple in Jackson, Missouri, but were unable to finish it because they were driven out. And we read in Doctrine and Covenants 124:49-53 that the Lord basically said because they were commanded, and tried to fulfill, even though they failed because of outside circumstances, the Lord accepts their offer (of what they completed before they were hindered). Which is so cool! Think about it–if God asks you to do something, and you try your best, but fail, God accepts what you've done! That is so amazing! The Lord is more worried about your effort and the direction you are heading, not about what you've completed. He's also more focused on the journey that you are taking, and the path that you are on. He judges us on our hearts, and our intentions. And He helps us become who He not only knows we can become, but needs us to be.

In Relief Society, we talked about covenants, and Margaret said something about what she thinks covenants are that I loved. She said, "Covenants are the path from where I am to where I want to be." I thought that was great. I think covenants are a promise of a better me; a guide to a path where I can be better, and become like God. Jane shared a quote from President Nelson that I loved: "We need women who are devoted to shepherding God's children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly." I loved this quote! We have so much potential, and the capacity to not only be great, but have a great influence on the world.

In choir today, we practiced for our number in the fireside tonight. We're singing 'Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing', and I am conducting it. We took a little time today to talk about what this song means to us, and we talked about how much the Atonement means to us, and how much Jesus Christ does for us. The line, "Bind my wandr'ing heart to thee" was talked about; even when we stray, Jesus Christ is right there for us when we return. He's our Savior, and He loves us. And He will always be there for us. I'm so grateful for Him, and so grateful for all of the help that He has given to me in my life, and for all that He does for me. He has helped me grow, and change for the better. I feel like I am closer to Him than I have ever been, and I am more in tune and at peace with how my life is going right now. I am grateful to live in and go to school in a place where I can speak of Him and no one bats an eye because they all love and believe in Him, too.

Xoxo
Mattie

Peace be with you.

Here's your friendly reminder that, no matter how much you love music/performing for people, sometimes it is still downright terrifying:

Thoughts during the sacrament: I'm singing in sacrament meeting today. Honestly I'm terrified. My heart can't stop racing. I wasn't terrified for this at all until last night/this morning. I'm praying for peace and hoping it will go well.  Everyone keeps saying it will be fine–and I'm sure it will be–but my body/brain isn't listening.

It's Father's Day today. I'm so thankful for my dad, all the fathers in my life, and especially my Heavenly Father. I don't know where I'd be without their love, guidance, and examples.

"Peace be with you", I just heard/thought. And my heart has slowed down. I'm still nervous, still a little jumpy, but I feel better. I know He will be with me. And I am not alone–it's a quartet. :)

The first speaker in sacrament today talked about PEACE! I was like, "I need that!" Megan said something that I loved and had never really thought about before: Sometimes the answers to our prayers is to reach out and help others. I never thought that me serving someone could be the answer to my prayers. I know that me serving someone helps someone else and can be the answer to their prayers, as well as make me feel good, but I didn't realize it could be an answer to my prayers. I thought that was really insightful. She also said that the Savior is the perfect example of peace and I really loved that.

Our musical number went great!! I had a solo at the beginning, and during the chorus the second time around I harmonized (because it was too low for me) and this resulted in a lot of compliments today. I'm so glad that it went well! I was really worried and nervous, but it went well. :)

The second speaker talked about how Heavenly Father sees us, and knows us, and can help us. He has the best plan for us, and He can help us overcome our weaknesses, if we ask Him.

Relief Society was great, as usual! Clarissa talked about some things that I needed to hear and I"m so grateful for that!

The topic was Peace and Contentment Through Temporal Self-Reliance. These are just a couple of my favorite lines that were said today:
-As long as we can be self-reliant, we can help others.
-Good things take effort. You are worth the effort.
-We need each other's help. It's okay to depend on others.
-How many times do we have to fall before we can stay up?
-The best things in life take work.
-Messing up doesn't mean we're not good at it and should stop.

"If ye are prepared ye shall not fear." (Doctrine and Covenants 38:30)

I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to perform in church today. I'm grateful for the messages that were shared–I needed to hear the messages of peace today, and the messages that it's okay to depend on others, and it's okay to mess up sometimes.

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers! I'm grateful for my father–I love my dad. He's the best. He's taught me so much and I can always turn to him. I'm grateful for all the father-figures in my life. They teach me so many things and are such great examples. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and for all that He has done for me.

Hope you have had a peaceful Sabbath and that you have an amazing week!

Xoxo
Mattie