Trust Him.

This morning before church I was thinking a lot about life in general, just because it's been on my mind the past couple of weeks (*cough* months, really *cough*). I'm kind of an impatient person sometimes. I'm working on it, and usually I'm not so impatient, but there are a couple of things that I really want in life that I have to wait awhile for, and it's been difficult trying not to think about it so much.

Anyway, I was looking on LDS.org, and I found a talk by Elder Robert D. Hales from October 2011 entitled "Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done". He says, "As we ask these questions, we realize that the purpose of life is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences... What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end. To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it 'with great diligence, and... patience.'"

It's a really great talk, and I definitely recommend it. It applies to a lot of different things! It applies to such things as physical sufferings, trials, answers to prayers, etc. So it means a different thing to me than it will mean to you, and it means a different thing to us now than it will in a couple of years. Because you won't be going through the thing that you are currently going through in a couple of years, different things will stick out to you in the future than what will stick out to you today.

I am so grateful for the prophets and their messages. Though the things I want didn't really go away, reading that talk helped me a lot. I just have to be patient.

Speaking of being patient, I found another article, this time from the August 2015 Ensign. The link can be found here. It has a really great message, and it was definitely something that I needed to hear. She said something that I really loved. It was, "It’s discouraging when plans fall through or don’t pan out as expected. To our mortal minds, divine timing can be hard to understand. But what I can understand is that God is a loving Father who has a plan that guarantees eventual happiness if we are faithful, and I am learning to accept His timing with confidence—not with anxiousness."

If you know me, you know that I often get anxious and I worry about things a lot. So that part of her article was really helpful to me. I will be blessed if I am faithful, and He will bless me in His own time. I just need to accept that. His timing is perfect, and I just am not ready for those things that I want right now. I don't know when I will be ready, but I hope that I will be ready soon enough. But right now I just need to not worry about it. I need to not be anxious about it. It will happen when it happens. I need to trust Him and just. let. go.

A thought came to my mind during sacrament meeting today: Christ suffered for you. Do you really think that He will leave you to suffer in silence/by yourself? He won't let you suffer alone. He suffered alone so you don't have to.

I found this picture this morning on Facebook and thought it went perfectly with what I was thinking about this morning. Trust Him. Trust your Heavenly Father. Trust your Savior. His timing is perfect, and He knows what He is doing. He loves you. So trust Him.

Trust in Him and enjoy the present.

I know it's Thursday, but I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of days about a couple of things and I just need to get them out.

Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be a mom. There's never really been anything else I've really wanted to do. I've just always wanted to be a mom.

The other day, though, I was just thinking...all of my friends know what they're doing with their lives. I've got a ton of friends on missions, going on missions, or they know what they want to do with their life/major in–be a teacher, a journalist, or whatever.

But me??

All I've ever wanted to be is a mom, and seeing how that's not going to happen for awhile, I was kind of feeling discouraged and disappointed yesterday because I'm still not exactly sure what I want to major in yet–I've been thinking about a couple of options but none of them are really like, "Ding ding ding!!! This is it!!" and so that's just been hard. When I was growing up, I'd never really thought that there would be a time where I wouldn't be a wife/mom, and I'd need to be something else; it never crossed my mind (not sure why, especially in these last couple of years....my brain was just on a break, I guess). And so I've just been feeling kind of like I don't have a purpose...almost empty, in a way. I'm just kind of cruising along the path of life, not exactly sure where I'm headed or why.

And I've still been struggling a little bit with forgiving myself, and so that's also been a little hard. And so my brain has just been on overload mode, because of all these things on top of finals week...and of course I can't not think about these things because I'm me.

But then I saw this picture on Facebook yesterday, and it stood out to me because I really needed it.

I need to remember to trust Him, and trust His timing. And I also need to believe and trust in His grace. Things will happen when they happen, when they're supposed to happen, when I'm ready for them to happen. But not before. They'll happen when I need and am ready for them to happen. This year, I had some growing up to do, and I still have a little bit to do, but next year will be even better, and I'll be more prepared, and I'll be more aware. But right now? Right now I just need to trust in my Savior, and believe in His grace. Things will work out–they always do. I just need to be patient and enjoy the present. It's hard, but I know that I can do it. <3 <3