Sometimes it's time to move.

I'm grateful for the chance that I have to start over each week...I just wish that I could forgive myself and move on from the past. It's hard to feel like God has forgiven me when I can't even forgive myself. I've been trying to work on forgiving myself, and loving myself completely–flaws and all. It's been difficult, and is taking time, and hasn't happened all at once, but I know that with the help of my Savior, and the support of my loved ones and close friends, I can do it. I just need to not give up, and keep going, even when I feel discouraged, and even when I make mistakes again.

One thing that stood out to me in sacrament meeting was, "Because of our Savior's Atonement, we can become whole again" (emphasis added). I really loved that statement. When we use the Atonement to be forgiven and start over, we become clean and whole, just like the day of our baptism.
One other thing that was said that I loved was, "First promptings are pure inspiration from heaven." I really loved that, and I firmly believe that that is a true statement. I am sure that I have been the answer to other people's prayers, and I know that other people have been answers to my prayer, and I am so thankful that they followed the promptings of the Spirit.

"You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." ~Elder Harold B. Lee to Elder Boyd K. Packer soon after Elder Packer became a General Authority

I really liked this quote, and I loved the title of the article that it is from. It's called, "Move Forward in Faith", and I recently watched a video interview of the LDS singer/songwriter Calee Reed where she said, "Sometimes His timing means move now", and I absolutely LOVE this idea! Sometimes His timing means that we have to be patient, but sometimes His timing means that we have to have faith and just make a decision. He'll let us know if we make a wrong choice.

I think that we often put forth a lot of faith and hope that God will do everything for us. That if we pray for Him to do something, or give us something, that if we sit back and wait, He'll do it. 

But that isn't how He works. He has given us the gift of agency, which means that He will not force us to do anything, and He will not force anyone else to do anything, either. So when we ask Him for help, He expects us to finish praying, get up, and go out and do something. And as long as we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, we will be blessed, and we will receive the blessings that we have asked for–in due time. One of my favorite quotes of Elder Holland's is, "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." No one is perfect–all we can do is try our best. As long as we are doing our part, God will do His.

Life is hard. I don't know about you, but I have weaknesses that I can't overcome by myself. I have trials that keep coming back because I don't always know how to deal with them, and sometimes they change into a new form. Some days, I am doing GREAT. Some days...not so much, and I can't figure out how to deal with them...I can't figure out how to get over them...I can't figure out how to get rid of them. There are lots of times, as I'm trying to work through them, where I keep forgetting something...I keep forgetting someONE. I keep forgetting my Savior. With Him, I can do ANYTHING.

Even move.

I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father has not left me alone. Sometimes He's quiet...that's another thing that Calee said in the video I shared previously. Even when you're doing everything right...reading your scriptures, going to church, going to the temple...sometimes He's quiet. But that DOESN'T mean that He's not here. That doesn't mean that He doesn't care. That doesn't mean that He isn't helping guide you. He really will let you know when you're doing something wrong, or when you go ahead with a decision that isn't right for you. And if you can't feel His love...He will send you people who do, and they will show you just how much He loves you through their actions. They will bless your life just by being themselves, and just by being in your life. They will always listen. They will always love you. They will always be there for you. And they will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because you needed someone to talk to and God knew you needed them.

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for the love that He has for me. I'm grateful for the strength that He gives me, and for the support that He has given me. I'm grateful for my friends who support me and love me, and who always show me just how much they care for me. I'm grateful for the life that I have been given, and I'm grateful for the experiences that I've had. I'm grateful that I am not alone in this life. I don't think I could make it by myself. I am grateful for the changes that have occurred in my life, and I'm grateful for the chances that I have had to change. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to serve those around me, and I'm grateful for the times that I have had to take time and let others serve me. I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life who love me. I can't imagine my life without you! Thanks for everything you do!! 

I hope you all have an amazing week! I know that God loves you very much and He wants you to talk to Him. Remember that He is always there for you.

Xoxo

Mattie

He brings peace.

First, I would just like to say that I made it through my first week of the new semester!! Friday and Saturday were just a tad busy (okay, a lot busy) but everything went smoothly, which is so great! I wasn't really that worried about it, but when it came time for those days, all of a sudden my brain went into "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be so busy today!" mode and then I was kind of worried, but everything went fine, and then as the day went by, I became a lot calmer. I know that that was because of Christ, which leads into what we talked about in Relief Society today.

Today in Relief Society we talked about the peace that comes from Christ. It was a lesson that I really needed, and so I'm grateful to Sheridan and Lexi for their time in preparing the lesson, and I'm grateful for all of the girls that commented today–I really needed to hear what a lot of them said. Sheridan said something at the beginning of the lesson that I loved: "The only way we can have peace is through God." I loved that. We read several scriptures about peace that I absolutely love and I thought I would just share them all! :)

John 14:27–"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
John 16:33–"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
John 14:6–"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me."

That last one isn't directly about peace, but it gives me peace, knowing that I can come to [know] my Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ.

One of the questions that Sheridan and Lexi asked was this: "How can we receive the peace Christ offers?" I loved what some of the girls answered. Someone said that you have to be open to receive it. The way to do that is to study your scriptures. Another girl said that you can ask Him for peace. It might not come right away, but it will come. :)

Another thing we talked about was that loving others brings you peace. This is my favorite because it's so true. Loving and serving others does bring me peace. It takes me away from my troubles, even if for a brief moment, and, in that moment, not only do I get to share God's love with others, I get to feel His love for me from their gratitude, and from the peace and love that the Spirit gives to me, whispering to me, "You did right."

We also talked about how the Savior can help us find peace regardless of the turmoil around us. This is when I shared my story about this weekend that you already read up at the top but if you don't remember I will share it again (in slightly different words but not but yes): Friday and Saturday were really busy days for me. I wasn't really that worried about it when I thought about it Wednesday or Thursday evening, but when it came time for Friday and then Saturday, all of a sudden my brain went into "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be so busy today!" mode and then I was a bit worried, but everything went fine, and then as the day went by, I became a lot calmer. I know that that was because of Christ. I also know that even though I don't turn to Him as often as I should (I'm trying to be better about that), He will still be there, and He will still help me. I said something during this relaying of events that went like this: Even if we're traveling through a hurricane of turmoil and events, I know that if we stand, even just for a brief moment or two, we can feel the peace of Christ, and that moment of peace can carry us till the storm ends.

The last thing we talked about was that by fixing our eyes on Jesus, we can triumph over elements that would destroy peace. This is so true. By focusing on Jesus (which, coincidentally, is one of my New Year's Resolutions), everything else will fall into place, and He will bring peace to your heart and soul. In conjunction with this, Sheridan relayed the time when Jesus walked on water in the midst of a terrible storm, and after he realized it was Jesus, Peter jumped out of the boat to walk with Him, but as soon as his eyes fell upon the water, he started to sink, and said, "Lord, save me", and Jesus lifted His hand to Peter and said, "O thou of little faith, [why] didst thou doubt?" Your lifeguard walks on water. He will NEVER let you drown.

I know that He brings peace. I know that He is the Son of God. I know that He helps me carry my burdens when I'm overwhelmed, stressed, or frustrated. I know that when I can't continue on carrying it, that He will lift and carry most of it for me. I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father, and I am so grateful for their love, and their faith in me, and their patience, and their help. I'm so grateful for the Atonement, and for the peace that it gives me. Life is sometimes really hard, but I know that I am not alone, and that brings me peace.