We need to minister love as He did.

I think that for the last two weeks, Life has just been like..."Mm, let's see...Mattie is almost on her last stretch...how much damage can we do before she gets there to make her not want to get there? 😈" Because goodness gracious, what a time it has been! From not only falling up the stairs and getting a gnarly bruise but waking up with a couple bizarre bruises this week to having the most awful migraine last week, I think the only thing that hasn't happened in the last two weeks is me breaking something–either a bone or part of my violin–which has often been a fear of mine. Wait, I lied. I haven't thrown up, either (though I've been nauseous a lot).

ANYWAY. Sorry for the extensive life update–I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. It's been a ROUGH couple of weeks for me–not only physically, but mentally, and I had to take a lot of time for myself because my mind and body needed time to heal. It has been a little stressful because I have had a lot of school things to work on that I haven't been able to work on as much as I wanted because I've been dealing with helping myself heal. But I am grateful that I have the faith and trust in my Heavenly Father to ask for priesthood blessings because I know that the faith to ask for priesthood blessings shows Him my humbleness, and willingness to listen to things He has to say to me. I know that as I do the things He asks me to, He will bless me, and He will bless my efforts.

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Once upon a time, there was a girl who envisioned the life that she wanted. And she started the path to that life. But she kept hitting dead ends. Some were quick dead ends; others were a little bit longer. She didn't understand. The map she had didn't show so many dead ends. So she went to the mapmaker to ask for guidance, direction, and insight. 

She asked the mapmaker, "Why are these dead ends not mapped out? I'd like to avoid them." She had had enough heartache and just wanted something to work out for once.

His response was short: "If you knew all the dead ends, you wouldn't learn from your mistakes." He knew she would learn better if she made her own decisions. 

Trying to understand, she asked the mapmaker, "How can I best navigate the course I desire?" 

He answered, "Take all the time you need to decide which paths to take, and which course to follow. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them. But I won't be able to make any decisions for you. This life is all about what you want, and if I am making all the choices for you, it's not going to be what you want."

She thought about that for a minute and then said, "You are right. How can I know when to ask you for help?"

"Oftentimes," he said, "you will just know. You will feel it in your heart."

Thanking the mapmaker for his time, she walked back to the last point of the path where she had been. She looked at her map, and thought back to what the mapmaker had said about taking the time she needed. She knelt down and tried to figure out exactly what she wanted, what she needed, and which paths would give her what she desired. 

Standing up, she made a choice, and headed off in that direction. She wouldn't know for a long time if that was the correct choice or not, but for now, she knew that it felt right, and that it seemed to be what she needed right now.

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(In case you couldn't tell, the story above was an allegory for our life here on Earth. There are always going to be dead ends–paths that seem right at the time, but end up not going anywhere. God is our mapmaker, and He is always going to be there for us to guide us and help us, but He can't make any decisions for us; it is up to us what paths and choices we make. I hope that you remember that sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith and trust that if you fall, God will catch you.)

The message I got in church today was MINISTER LOVE. I loved the focus on ministering today. 

Alex asked a question in her talk that I loved: Are we the first person others think of when in need? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that I at least try to be that person. 

Kyle asked a couple of questions that I loved, too: Who do I want to be? And what do I need to do to get there? I loved these because honestly, life is hard to navigate until you know who you want to be and what things you need to do to be that person. 

One thing that we discussed in Relief Society that I loved was that, after we go through/to the temple. we will received more temptations because we are more of a threat. And I know that that is true. This semester has been one of the hardest–not because of school, but because I have just had a lot of things going on that have been making it hard for me to focus on the right things. But I know that when I am able to focus on the right things, and do what I am supposed to do, that everything else falls into place. 

I went to the temple yesterday morning, and it was such a beautiful time. It was the first time that I went by myself since I've gone through, and it was a little scary at first but it was good. :) It was wonderful to just sit there and ponder on things that I have been worried about, and things that have been on my mind for awhile. One thing that I learned while I was sitting in the temple was that even though I make mistakes a lot, if I have the desire and will to change, as long as I have the Lord beside me, I can overcome whatever is thrown my way.

I am thankful for the blessings of the temple, of the priesthood, of the Spirit, of music, and for the blessing of being a woman. Life is certainly difficult, but I know that there are things that I can do because I am a woman, and I am thankful for the blessing of being ME because there are things that I can do that no one else can. And I hope that I bless the lives of those around me in the best ways.

God is a powerful being who made not only this world, but US. He made YOU. He made ME. And He created us to do a marvelous work that no one else can do. You are meant to do great things, and only you can do them. He will help you figure them out if you ask Him for help. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful week! God loves you so much, and I do, too!

Xoxo
Mattie