"Love is the only word to describe what we've been through together."

This weekend was absolutely perfect!!


Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to Salt Lake City to do a session in the temple before it's closed at the end of the year for renovations (and to see the lights), and then we grabbed a bite to eat. We met up with my sisters (who were both randomly also in Salt Lake city to see the lights). After meeting up with them, he took me to a favorite park of his, where he then PROPOSED to me! I happily (and tearfully) said yes! I am so very excited and happy!! I am so excited for this next adventure in our lives and I can't wait to start planning for it! This has been the best Christmas ever, and it's not even Christmas yet!!!

My life has definitely not gone the way that I planned it or wanted it to...but somehow, looking back, it was just perfect. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have loving Heavenly Parents who want what is best for me and who know just what I need in my life and when. And I pray every day that I will not be such a Negative Nan as much as I have been in the past...but that is something that needs work. And I hope and pray every day that today will be better than yesterday, or that I can have at least one positive moment. So far, I am finding that one positive moment a day leads to more positive moments the next days. 

I am so thankful for my fiancé, who is my best friend and who is absolutely perfect for me. He's smart, kind, sweet, sensitive, thoughtful, a great listener, a worthy priesthood holder, and an all-around amazing son of God. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He makes me want to be a better person every day.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Parents, who love me and have given me so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my earthly parents, who love me and have given me so much experience, knowledge, love, and happiness. I am thankful for my family, who not only tolerate my craziness, but love me in spite of it. 🤣 I am thankful for my friends, who have helped me have a wonderful time and have helped me to look on the bright side of things, and who have helped me to rise above and beyond my mental illnesses and to stand my ground against the adversary.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! I've got a lot going on this week!! I have jury service tomorrow and really hope I get selected! I'd love a chance to participate as a member of the jury because court life fascinates me. I'm finishing up my Christmas gift shopping and probably sleeping more too! I'm also celebrating Christmas with my fiancé before he leaves to spend time with his family and I am so very excited!!

Happy holidays!! May you have a safe and happy holiday season with your loved ones!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Having the faith to be patient.

In Luke 1: 38, Mary said, "Behold the handmaiden of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." I love this scripture because it shows the amount of faith and love that Mary had for God, and for His plan for her. Even though there was a lot of things that she didn't know about what was going to happen, and even though the situation wasn't entirely ideal for her or Joseph, she still had faith in her Heavenly Father. I can learn from Mary's example of faith and love in and for the Lord and trust that He has an extraordinary plan for me, and that if I ask Him, He will help me know and understand His plan for me. 

In his talk entitled "Faith Is Not by Chance, but by Choice", Elder Andersen said that, "Faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek and hold on to it." I love this quote because not only does it say that faith is a gift from heaven, but it says that it is our choice. Much like Mary, who chose to believe in her Father in Heaven's plan for her, I can choose to believe in my Father's plan for me. I can choose to have faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, and I can choose to continue to have faith, despite any uncertainties or questions that may come up in my life. There is much that I do not know and understand about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and there is much that I do not know and understand about life. But I choose to believe in a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, and I choose to have faith that everything will work out in the end. I choose to have faith that as long as I am doing my part, and as long as I am trying to love and serve those around me, that everything will be okay.

In her song "The Waiting Place", Calee Reed shares the message that God is always with us. Sometimes, even when we've been faithful, God doesn't always show us what we should do. It feels like He has left us alone. We keep pleading, pleading, pleading for answers, direction, peace, and love. 

"As we beg for peace, and trust in His love,
We may not get the answers we want
But answers come pouring from heaven above
And He whispers, You will know what to do
Just keep listening for direction
The path is yours to choose
Turn your heart where I beckon
Every question will be answered
So don't lose your faith
God is here waiting with you in your waiting place
You are never alone in your waiting place."

The answers will come. The peace will come. They might not be what we are looking for, but they will come. We just need to have faith, and we just need to keep praying, and keep listening. God is there. I promise.

Story time: In the summer of 2017, I was feeling a little lost, and I felt like I needed something more in my life. I was feeling kind of...stagnant in my testimony. So I wanted to start preparing to go through the temple. I didn't entirely feel ready, though. I went through the temple prep classes, and I was reading my scriptures and praying, but I still wasn't feeling ready. So I put it on the back burner, but it was still something I wanted. In the summer of 2018, I went to work at a scout camp up at Bear Lake. I was able to spend a lot of time in nature, connecting with my Savior, and my Father in Heaven. By the end of the summer, I had learned a lot and grown closer to my Savior. I finally felt ready! After discussing things with Bishop, I went to the temple prep classes again. Afterwards, I felt like there was no need for me to wait anymore. And so we set up an appointment for my temple recommend interview for the following month...and it's almost here! On Tuesday, I am meeting with Bishop (and the stake president) for my interview! And on Saturday, January 19th, 2019, I will be going through the temple for the first time!! I cannot wait! I am so excited!! And I am so thankful that I decided to wait till I actually felt ready. Before, it was just something that I wanted and thought I needed, and that's good. That's a good start. But I could feel that I wasn't ready; I needed more time. And somehow...somehow I was able to be patient as I worked with myself in being ready. And I am so thankful that I was able to work on myself, and my testimony more. I know that God has blessed me in the past year and a half since I decided that I wanted to work towards this goal, and I am so grateful for His love and hand in my life!

This experience has been amazing. As I'm looking back, I'm realizing that I was not only patient, but I was ecstatic to be patient! I didn't want to go through if I didn't feel ready. I feel blessed that I was able to understand how special and sacred this experience is going to be, and how I have wanted to be as prepared as I can be. I am grateful that I had the faith to be patient, and wait till I felt ready. I am grateful that I have had such a loving support system, and I am grateful that I have had such a special desire to wait until I was ready to go through. I know that God will bless me for that.

I am grateful that I will have such a busy week at school this week! It will help the week go by faster as I am waiting for Saturday to come! I am looking forward to this semester, and to growing and learning. I am looking forward to graduating in June! I can't believe I am almost done with school! I am looking forward to getting out in the world and to making my mark! I can't wait to see what I do!

Have a great week!

Xoxo
Mattie