That's the point!

This week, I was on a spiritual high from last weekend. General Conference is my favorite time of the year, and I'm so glad we have two conferences every year! I am very excited that the talks are now on the Gospel Library App so I can study them in preparation for next conference!

I was teaching my kiddos how to play "Pin the tail on the (Puppy)" (this week our theme was 'pets'; hence, the 'puppy' instead of 'donkey'), and as I was blindfolding one of my kids, he says to me, "I can't see!" I said, "That's the point." Later, when it was my turn, I said something similar to "I can't see" and he says, "That's the point!" And all the rest of my kiddos chime in with, "That's the point!" And I about died laughing! These kids are so funny and make me laugh every day!

As I was thinking about that experience this weekend, I had a thought. I was thinking about the Gospel, and how trials are really hard, and learning and growing as a person are really hard, and that thought came to my mind again, "That's the point!" The point of this life is to experience trials, and to learn and grow. The point of this life is to love God, and love your neighbors. The point of this life is to make the world a better place.

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I'm full of gratitude for this last week. General Conference was amazing, and I've had a fairly amazing week at work. I'm trying to figure out what I'm wanting with my life, and how I can improve myself. I've recently started re-reading the Book of Mormon, and I want to be done by Christmas. It has helped me every day that I've read a chapter or two. I've been calmer, happier, and more at peace as I've read my scriptures each day this week. I'm grateful for the messages of General Conference last week, and I'm grateful for the chance that I have to re-read, listen to, or watch the sessions again for the next six months. I am really hoping that I can become a better person as I keep reading my scriptures every day, and as I study the talks from this last conference. 

I am trying to remember every day to be better. To be more patient, loving, and kind. To let go of the little things that are inconsequential and don't matter. It's hard when I don't understand the why behind things, and I think that doesn't help me be more patient and kind. 

I'm grateful for a God who gives me love and peace when I need it, and even when I don't know that I need it. I'm grateful for a God who reminds me that there is more to this life than meets the eye, and of that wonderful plan that He has in store for me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Just what I needed.

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days, and today during the sacrament this was something that I really thought I should share:

Sometimes letting go is hard. But I know that sometimes it is better than holding on. It's like that analogy of holding on or clinging to the rope. It is more painful than letting go. And I know the struggle–I know it is SO HARD to let go. But sometimes holding on is just too painful, and you have to let go, otherwise you're going to be miserable and unhappy forever. And eventually, you will find something better to replace what you've lost. I ask God every day to help me let go of things that are hurting me, and to guide me to something better. I have faith that He will, and that He is. 

I saw this picture on Facebook last night that I loved:

And I shared it with this thought (that, to be honest, was sort of the inspiration for my thoughts today during the sacrament): "Sometimes it's hard to have charity. Being patient is hard. Being kind can be hard. What's also hard is realizing that you can have charity towards those who have done you wrong, but that doesn't mean that you condone their actions or that you let them keep hurting you. Sometimes forgiving them and letting them go is the hardest part, but it will be better for you in the long run." 

The choir sang in sacrament today! It went pretty well, considering we were sorely lacking in women's voices. Hopefully as people move in, we will get a few more ladies.

The topic for sacrament meeting today was the power of prayer. There were a couple of things that were said that either I loved, or brought a cool new insight to prayer that I thought I'd share:
-Real intent means that you have to be willing to work for what you asked God for. 
-Power in our life comes from the relationship we have with God.
-We can overcome (anything) with the power of prayer.
-You can't have a personal relationship with Heavenly Father without prayer.

Sunday School was awesome today and just what I needed! Which will be odd once you know what the topic of the lesson was on: marriage. I know, I know–what a weird lesson for a single Mattie to have needed. But Clarissa used a lot of quotes from President Hinckley, and focused on the fact that we are just as needed, and important to our Heavenly Father. Being single is just a word. We're still people. We're not less because we're single. Everyone–everyone–is different. But! We're all striving to become someone. And we are all needed. There are so many people who need us. Don't think for a moment that you aren't needed, because that is not true at all. Your point of view is needed in this world.

Relief Society was also fabulous and just what I needed! We talked about learning and education! Which I have honestly been struggling with a little bit, but just hearing that we as women are told specifically that we, too, should get an education, was great. Someone also said today that, "We have more capacity [to learn] than we realize." I loved that. Sometimes we all falter and struggle because we think that we can only learn so much, or go so far, but that's not true! We can do SO MUCH more than we could possibly imagine!

I'm grateful for the lessons today. They were just what I needed to hear! I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven who hears my prayers and answers them. I'm grateful for friends who listen to the Spirit and prepare what God needs them to.

Xoxo
Mattie

With Him, I can do it all.

Today was a great day at church. There were several messages that were received today but one of the main ones that I noticed was about trusting God. And my thoughts during the sacrament, I think, helped shape how I viewed the rest of the meetings.

My relationship with my Savior is wholly dependent upon me and my efforts. He will always be there for me, but I must do the work to create or keep our relationship up. Some days/weeks are better than others, but there is always room for improvement. It's been a crazy couple of weeks/months for me and one of my roommates said something the other day. She said maybe what I'm supposed to be learning from these experiences is to trust my Heavenly Father. Like, blindly trust. I trust Him, and I love Him, but these past few weeks have been really hard, and stressful, and maybe I just need to let go, and let Him. It's hard because I hate feeling helpless, and I hate not being able to do something, but that is the real question: do I trust Him enough to let go? I am trying to let go because I hope so. But there really isn't anything I can do about it right now, other than wait, so I'm hoping, and trying, and trusting in Him. 

Trusting someone is a lot harder than you'd think. Telling them things about yourself, thoughts you've had, that no one else knows...is hard.
Turning to God, and letting go of things you're struggling with–decisions you're still trying to understand, things you're trying to let go of–is hard.
Trusting is HARD. But it's worth it. It's worth not going through it alone. It's worth having an outside point of view. For so long, you've been doing it alone, and you've had only your view on it. Letting someone else in, and trusting someone else with a part of you, is worth it. It's hard, and can be stressful, and terrifying, but it's worth it.

Maybe another one of the things I'm supposed to be learning is that I need to get out of my head. I mean, I think I already knew that, but lately, since I've started seeing a therapist, and have been working on my anxiety and depression, I've noticed that I'm better only when I'm out of my head. Having the opportunity to be inside my head makes things worse. I think that these actually go hand-in-hand. I need to trust that the things I think people are thinking about me aren't actually happening. I need to trust that when people say they love me or like me as a person, they mean it. I need to trust that these people–who I'm 1000% sure were placed in my life because of my Heavenly Father–really do love me. They really do care about me. And they don't think about me in the way that I am worried that they do.

I know that Heavenly Father is guiding me. I know He is taking me to a place where I need to be, when I need to be there...but trying to get me to let go of these problems that I am going through is really hard. I am trying, and I'm making progress, but it's really hard. I'm grateful that He is merciful, and patient, and always willing to work with me, because I don't know what I'd do without Him. I can do hard things. I can work through these problems and experiences. I can trust Him. I can let go. It will take time, and it is taking time, but I can do it. I can do it with Him.

Xoxo
Mattie