A Piece of Hope.

I wrote this on April 23, 2023. I never shared this poem because I wanted to do a few things with it, but I needed the comfort it offered, and I thought that I would share it for others who might also need the comfort and peace it brings.

Moments.

Despite the challenges we have been facing as we try to start our family, we continue to experience moments of hope, along with moments of heartache. Some news we received this past week was not what we had hoped it would be. As a result, I have had an emotionally and spiritually draining week as I tried to deal with my emotions, connect with Heavenly Father, and figure out what is next for not only me, but our little family. My thoughts have kept turning to a few things Ricky and I are discussing for the future, and I am just so grateful for his love and support during this difficult trial.

Establish a house of grace.

May was an absolutely beautiful and fun month! We had so much fun celebrating our 5th anniversary and visiting the Church sites in New York. I loved being able to learn about Joseph Smith's family life before, during, and after his experiences with translating The Book of Mormon. It was really humbling to see the small home that his family of 11 lived in, as well as to see the gravestone of his elder brother, Alvin. It is assumed that he suffered and died from appendicitis, and I am ever so grateful for modern medicine. We also had an amazing time visiting Ricky's parents and the beach! Florida was very warm and I loved being able to relax by the pool!

Now it’s June. Back to work for Ricky. Back to prepping for school for me. Originally, I intended to take a couple of courses this summer after our vacation. However, due to a misreading on my part, the scholarship I thought would cover the cost of my courses wouldn't cover them unless I was taking more credits, which wasn't possible. Due to this, my last semester will be the upcoming fall semester (only three classes plus my internship) and I’m so excited to be finishing up! Since I will no longer be taking classes in the summer, I will be able to focus on finding an internship (hopefully one that pays)--and possibly one that will lead to a job post-internship and school! I’m also trying to finish reorganizing and decluttering our house before I go back to school so that there’s less stress for us when we are doing our homework together!

The beauty of this small mistake will give me time for things I have been stressed about, including time for rest. I know, I know--I just had a vacation. However, due to the numerous things around the house that I would like to finish, I will need time to rest in between decluttering and reorganizing sessions. We want our house to be a home where we can feel the Spirit, and I know that there are several changes to be made to help us increase the feeling of the Spirit. I am looking forward to being able to do the work to help increase the Spirit in our home.

In a talk given by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin in April 1993 entitled Spiritually Strong Homes and Families, Elder Wirthlin talks about how homes can provide security, as long as we create and build our homes to be secure and safe places for ourselves and our children.

"The place to cure most of the ills of society is in the homes of the people. Building our homes as fortresses of righteousness for protection from the world takes constant labor and diligence."

Just like building our testimonies on the rock that is our Redeemer and Savior, Jesus Christ, we need to remember to ensure the safety of our homes by building upon the correct principles of the Gospel, and ensuring that not only ourselves but our children know that, just like the way the temples are the house of God, our homes can be a place where God can reside, as long as we remember the way to build up our spiritual strength.

"The Lord’s standards for building a temple apply also to building spiritual strength in our homes: “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119). Do we heed this counsel from the Lord? Do we do what He asks? We would do well to build our homes according to this plan or they are destined to fail."

I really love this scripture--I have for years since my family memorized it together as part of a family home evening one year. I hope that I can learn how to apply it better in my life this summer as I try to help create and establish our home.

Families do better when there is a set way to do things. When there is a place for everything to go. When there is a schedule for the day. I know that when I don't necessarily have anything on my calendar, I can sleep in too late, and the rest of my day feels less productive, even if I get a lot done. My goal for the summer is to figure out a schedule for me that helps me be productive, but also FEEL productive. Sometimes I am productive during the day, but at the end of the day, I feel like I got nothing done. I want to change that and create a better atmosphere where I can feel productive after working around the house.

I love Elder Wirthlin's promise at the end of his talk. He says, "My brothers and sisters, if you will make your home a house of prayer and fasting, faith, learning and glory, and order, it can become a house of God. If you build your homes on the foundation rock of our Redeemer and the gospel, they can be sanctuaries where your families can be sheltered from the raging storms of life."

I hope you have had a beautiful Sabbath Day and that this week is one full of adventure, love, and especially full of GRACE. Because I know I will fall short this week and will need His grace. I hope and pray that, as I try and follow the Lord's advice of establishing a house of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, and of God this summer, that we will be able to see and feel a tangible change within not only our home, but our lives. And I hope that I can remember to also establish a house of GRACE.

Xoxo

Mattie

"My [child], peace be unto thy soul."

Happy May! May is my favorite month for many reasons--one being it's springtime, and the other being it's our anniversary month! Ricky and I are looking forward to a fun summer, with at least one out-of-state trip (this month for our anniversary) and hopefully a few weekend day trips!

Over the last several months (and off and on over the last 5 years), I have had the opportunity to research Ricky's family history and gather together his family tree. It has been really enlightening and spiritual for me because I've never had to actually do research to find my family tree--it's always just been there. Being able to do the research and put together the pieces of Ricky's family tree puzzle has been really fun for me!

Being able to work on family history, even when I haven't been able to make it to the temple to do temple work, has been a really powerful experience for me over the last few years that I have been working on this project. 

As I think about my experience doing family history for Ricky's family, and the times we have been able to attend the temple together, I think back to the first chapter of the Book of Matthew in The New Testament, which lists the genealogy of Jesus Christ back to Abraham. 

1 The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse;
6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias;
7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa;
8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias;
9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias;
11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor;
14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud;
15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob;
16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.

Even Jesus knew His heritage. Knowing who you are and where you come from is vital in understanding your story. Because Jesus knew who He was and what His mission was, He was able to achieve His mission as our Savior.

When we know WHOSE we are, there is NOTHING that can stand in our way of achieving all that the Lord has in store for us as long as we remember that we have the Lord on our side. With Him, He will give us peace and comfort in all our challenges and trials. Even when it seems unfair. Even when it seems like your world is falling apart. Even when it feels like everything is happening far slower than you would like, and all around you are reminders of your trials and challenges. Even when your trials seem never-ending.

John 14

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Doctrine and Covenants 121

7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

Helaman 5
47 Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world. 

I am so grateful for all of the peace and comfort I have felt in my life throughout all of the trials and challenges I have been going through. Sometimes it's hard to feel in the moment, especially when feelings of anger, sorrow, upset, and anything else take over your brain. I have been working really hard on recognizing when my emotions are trying to take over and stepping back and taking control back. I am not perfect at it, but I am doing my best to be better every day.

Jesus Christ is known as the Prince of Peace and the Comforter. We are His children, and He wants us to be able to find peace, be comforted, and feel loved in the midst of our trials. I am so grateful for His promise of peace. Even if I can't feel it yet, I know that it is promised, and it will come.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Easter Sunday

Happy Easter, my family and friends! "He is not here, for He is risen!"

 

My blogpost from last year included a piece of art I created and can be found here. 

This year, we had a simple Easter. We watched Music and the Spoken Word this morning and then I went to choir practice before church. After church, we went to my parents' for dinner. When we got home, we went for a walk. It was simple, but sweet. 

Yesterday we were able to visit the free He is Risen exhibit in Pleasant Grove, Utah. I have included a few pictures I took and I wanted to talk about my experience there. As we walked slowly through the line and spent time at each part of the exhibit, I was able to ponder and think about the scriptures they had posted, as well as of the physical aspects of the sacrifice that Jesus experienced. 

The cross was much smaller than I anticipated. I expect that is because of the fact that I have never before encountered a cross, but somehow this surprise made the sacrifice that much more real. 

The Cross

The Sign on Jesus' Cross

Plaque for the Sign on the Cross

Every portion of the exhibit had a plaque filled with information about the portion of the exhibit. It was really interesting to see exactly how the sign would have looked with the different languages saying, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews".

I didn't take a picture of the scourge whip that was shown, but I thought it was interesting that the plaque said that, because of how historically accurate its creation was, it is considered a real scourge whip. The whip ends were covered with bits of metal, bone, and "sheep's knuckles". The metal bits were meant to bring the blood to the surface (probably creating bruises), and the bones and sheep's knuckles were then meant to cut the flesh and cause terrible bleeding and pain. Often, the prisoners would be wrapped in burlap afterwards to staunch the bleeding and keep them alive to suffer longer.

Just like how I thought the cross seemed smaller than I anticipated, so, too, did the tomb cause this same feeling. It was much smaller than I anticipated.

As I passed by the tomb opening and peeked in, I was filled with quite a few emotions. Awe, gratitude, love, hope. In seeing the empty tomb, with the cloths He had been wrapped in folded and laying on the bench, I believe I felt as Mary Magdalene did when she went to visit the tomb and expected Jesus to be there, but found an empty tomb. While I did not experience exactly what she did when He said her name, I expect hearing Him say her name filled her whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief, just like seeing that empty tomb also filled my whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief. And just like how I know when He says my name my whole soul will be filled with gratitude, love, and relief.

I hope you had a beautiful Easter with your family and loved ones. I hope that taking the time to remember the last week of Jesus' mortal ministry with me has been as uplifting for you as it has been for me.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Saturday

Saturday was a day of sorrow and disbelief for Jesus' followers. He had been buried Friday before the Sabbath began. They did not know, nor did they understand, that Jesus was not lost forever. Prior to His sacrifice, He told them He would not leave them comfortless. In John 14:26-27, Jesus says:

26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

We all have our Saturdays. Sometimes life is dark and hard. Sometimes you feel lost. Sometimes you feel hopeless. But Sunday will come. Sunday always comes. You will see the Son. He will give you light. He will give you peace. He will give you hope.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Good Friday

On Good Friday, Jesus Christ was tried, condemned, beaten, whipped, spit at, and crucified. Despite the unfairness of His trial and the horrible way they treated Him, He did not end His suffering until His work was finished.

Luke 23: 46 And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

He made sure His mother was going to be taken care of, and then He was able to finish His work. He endured the darkest, hardest day in the history of the world alone so that we don't have to.

I am so grateful that He loved and loves us enough to sacrifice Himself so that He can be with us through our darkest moments.

Xoxo

Mattie