Sunday, December 30, 2018

Learning life lessons.

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has blessed my life in many ways this year, and I don't know how He does it, but I know that He does it because He loves me!

I can't believe the end of the year is here! It's been quite a year! I've learned a lot! I think that one of the main things that I have learned this year–though I still am struggling to understand it at times–is that there is a reason for all things. Things happen for a reason, and things happen when they are meant to. It's hard to remember that, though, and it's hard to have patience sometimes. But I know that when you take a step back, and try not to focus on some of the things that you want, that 1) time will fly by as you're waiting; and 2) sometimes something better will come along and you'll realize that what you wanted was a good thing, but this new thing is better for you.

One of my favorite things about the end of the year is looking back on the year, and being amazed at all the things that have happened this year. I look back at things that happened in March and April, and I go, "Was that really this year?" And it amazes me how time seems to fly by when you least expect it. I could have sworn that I have been taking my medication for a long time, but I just started taking it this year; I could have sworn that the summer went on forEVER, but then it was over; I could have sworn Fall semester just started, but now it's over; and I could have sworn I just turned 21 and had the greatest surprise party of my life, but I'm now a month out from being 22 and I can't believe it!!

I've grown and learned so much this year!! I am so thankful for all of the new friends that I have made, and for all of the love and support that I have received this year. I am grateful for all the adventures that I have had this year! I have learned many, many things about God's plan for me, and about who I am. 

I learned that God is always watching out for me. I learned that, in spite of my mistakes, He still loves me. I learned that, despite the fact that I couldn't forgive myself for the longest time, He never gave up on me. He still believed in me, and He had still forgiven me. I learned that He sends the best people in my life to come at times when I need them, even if I don't know that I need them. I learned that I have so many people who love me, and that God wants to make sure that I know that I am not alone, and that I am not unloved. I learned that it's important to have at least a few strong and sweet friendships with people that you can always count on–people besides the Savior. 

I learned this year that I am wonderful. I am funny. I am kind. I am loving. I am gracious. I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am hard-working. I am talented. I am creative. I am determined. I learned that I am all of these things but I am NOT my anxiety. I am NOT my depression. I have anxiety, and I have depression. But they do not define me. They are not a part of who I am. They are just mental health illnesses that I have. It has taken me a while to figure that out, but I think I am finally beginning to understand the difference. 

I learned that I struggle with school, which was kind of a surprise, but I learned that I love the learning part of school. I learned that I really love being organized and making lists–it doesn't always happen haha but it makes my life much easier. I learned that my life is my life and that it's not anyone else's, and that I have things to learn and go through that others do not. I learned that I can do a lot more with my life if I set my mind to things. I learned that my worth is not defined by others. I learned that who I am is who I am, and that nobody can take that away from me. I learned that it is okay to say no. I learned that it is okay to ask for help–and it is okay to keep asking for help until you get it. I learned that it is okay to want something at one time, and end up not wanting it later. I learned that it is okay to change your mind. I learned that sometimes I accidentally hurt people, and that I want to do all that I can to take away the hurt, but sometimes I can't do that. I learned that sometimes, you have to be the bigger person and forgive, let go, and move on–even if it hurts. And I learned that other people can feel and do these things too! So I also learned that I am not alone.

These are just a few of the things that I have learned this past year. Wow! I can't believe I have learned so much! What have you learned this past year? What has been the biggest thing that shaped your life this year? Let me know in the comments! I'd love to hear what you guys learned this year!

I am excited for the New Year, and for all the lessons that I will be able to learn next year. I am excited for all of the adventures that I have to look forward to in the next couple of months as I am finishing up school! And I am excited for all the unexpected adventures that are coming my way in this new year! Life might not always go exactly as I want it to, but somehow whatever happens always works out in the best way! God is great, and I am so thankful for Him! 💜💕

Xoxo
Mattie

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