A Piece of Hope.

I wrote this on April 23, 2023. I never shared this poem because I wanted to do a few things with it, but I needed the comfort it offered, and I thought that I would share it for others who might also need the comfort and peace it brings.

Moments.

Despite the challenges we have been facing as we try to start our family, we continue to experience moments of hope, along with moments of heartache. Some news we received this past week was not what we had hoped it would be. As a result, I have had an emotionally and spiritually draining week as I tried to deal with my emotions, connect with Heavenly Father, and figure out what is next for not only me, but our little family. My thoughts have kept turning to a few things Ricky and I are discussing for the future, and I am just so grateful for his love and support during this difficult trial.

Establish a house of grace.

May was an absolutely beautiful and fun month! We had so much fun celebrating our 5th anniversary and visiting the Church sites in New York. I loved being able to learn about Joseph Smith's family life before, during, and after his experiences with translating The Book of Mormon. It was really humbling to see the small home that his family of 11 lived in, as well as to see the gravestone of his elder brother, Alvin. It is assumed that he suffered and died from appendicitis, and I am ever so grateful for modern medicine. We also had an amazing time visiting Ricky's parents and the beach! Florida was very warm and I loved being able to relax by the pool!

Now it’s June. Back to work for Ricky. Back to prepping for school for me. Originally, I intended to take a couple of courses this summer after our vacation. However, due to a misreading on my part, the scholarship I thought would cover the cost of my courses wouldn't cover them unless I was taking more credits, which wasn't possible. Due to this, my last semester will be the upcoming fall semester (only three classes plus my internship) and I’m so excited to be finishing up! Since I will no longer be taking classes in the summer, I will be able to focus on finding an internship (hopefully one that pays)--and possibly one that will lead to a job post-internship and school! I’m also trying to finish reorganizing and decluttering our house before I go back to school so that there’s less stress for us when we are doing our homework together!

The beauty of this small mistake will give me time for things I have been stressed about, including time for rest. I know, I know--I just had a vacation. However, due to the numerous things around the house that I would like to finish, I will need time to rest in between decluttering and reorganizing sessions. We want our house to be a home where we can feel the Spirit, and I know that there are several changes to be made to help us increase the feeling of the Spirit. I am looking forward to being able to do the work to help increase the Spirit in our home.

In a talk given by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin in April 1993 entitled Spiritually Strong Homes and Families, Elder Wirthlin talks about how homes can provide security, as long as we create and build our homes to be secure and safe places for ourselves and our children.

"The place to cure most of the ills of society is in the homes of the people. Building our homes as fortresses of righteousness for protection from the world takes constant labor and diligence."

Just like building our testimonies on the rock that is our Redeemer and Savior, Jesus Christ, we need to remember to ensure the safety of our homes by building upon the correct principles of the Gospel, and ensuring that not only ourselves but our children know that, just like the way the temples are the house of God, our homes can be a place where God can reside, as long as we remember the way to build up our spiritual strength.

"The Lord’s standards for building a temple apply also to building spiritual strength in our homes: “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119). Do we heed this counsel from the Lord? Do we do what He asks? We would do well to build our homes according to this plan or they are destined to fail."

I really love this scripture--I have for years since my family memorized it together as part of a family home evening one year. I hope that I can learn how to apply it better in my life this summer as I try to help create and establish our home.

Families do better when there is a set way to do things. When there is a place for everything to go. When there is a schedule for the day. I know that when I don't necessarily have anything on my calendar, I can sleep in too late, and the rest of my day feels less productive, even if I get a lot done. My goal for the summer is to figure out a schedule for me that helps me be productive, but also FEEL productive. Sometimes I am productive during the day, but at the end of the day, I feel like I got nothing done. I want to change that and create a better atmosphere where I can feel productive after working around the house.

I love Elder Wirthlin's promise at the end of his talk. He says, "My brothers and sisters, if you will make your home a house of prayer and fasting, faith, learning and glory, and order, it can become a house of God. If you build your homes on the foundation rock of our Redeemer and the gospel, they can be sanctuaries where your families can be sheltered from the raging storms of life."

I hope you have had a beautiful Sabbath Day and that this week is one full of adventure, love, and especially full of GRACE. Because I know I will fall short this week and will need His grace. I hope and pray that, as I try and follow the Lord's advice of establishing a house of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, and of God this summer, that we will be able to see and feel a tangible change within not only our home, but our lives. And I hope that I can remember to also establish a house of GRACE.

Xoxo

Mattie

"My [child], peace be unto thy soul."

Happy May! May is my favorite month for many reasons--one being it's springtime, and the other being it's our anniversary month! Ricky and I are looking forward to a fun summer, with at least one out-of-state trip (this month for our anniversary) and hopefully a few weekend day trips!

Over the last several months (and off and on over the last 5 years), I have had the opportunity to research Ricky's family history and gather together his family tree. It has been really enlightening and spiritual for me because I've never had to actually do research to find my family tree--it's always just been there. Being able to do the research and put together the pieces of Ricky's family tree puzzle has been really fun for me!

Being able to work on family history, even when I haven't been able to make it to the temple to do temple work, has been a really powerful experience for me over the last few years that I have been working on this project. 

As I think about my experience doing family history for Ricky's family, and the times we have been able to attend the temple together, I think back to the first chapter of the Book of Matthew in The New Testament, which lists the genealogy of Jesus Christ back to Abraham. 

1 The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse;
6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias;
7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa;
8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias;
9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias;
11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor;
14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud;
15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob;
16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.

Even Jesus knew His heritage. Knowing who you are and where you come from is vital in understanding your story. Because Jesus knew who He was and what His mission was, He was able to achieve His mission as our Savior.

When we know WHOSE we are, there is NOTHING that can stand in our way of achieving all that the Lord has in store for us as long as we remember that we have the Lord on our side. With Him, He will give us peace and comfort in all our challenges and trials. Even when it seems unfair. Even when it seems like your world is falling apart. Even when it feels like everything is happening far slower than you would like, and all around you are reminders of your trials and challenges. Even when your trials seem never-ending.

John 14

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Doctrine and Covenants 121

7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

Helaman 5
47 Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world. 

I am so grateful for all of the peace and comfort I have felt in my life throughout all of the trials and challenges I have been going through. Sometimes it's hard to feel in the moment, especially when feelings of anger, sorrow, upset, and anything else take over your brain. I have been working really hard on recognizing when my emotions are trying to take over and stepping back and taking control back. I am not perfect at it, but I am doing my best to be better every day.

Jesus Christ is known as the Prince of Peace and the Comforter. We are His children, and He wants us to be able to find peace, be comforted, and feel loved in the midst of our trials. I am so grateful for His promise of peace. Even if I can't feel it yet, I know that it is promised, and it will come.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Easter Sunday

Happy Easter, my family and friends! "He is not here, for He is risen!"

 

My blogpost from last year included a piece of art I created and can be found here. 

This year, we had a simple Easter. We watched Music and the Spoken Word this morning and then I went to choir practice before church. After church, we went to my parents' for dinner. When we got home, we went for a walk. It was simple, but sweet. 

Yesterday we were able to visit the free He is Risen exhibit in Pleasant Grove, Utah. I have included a few pictures I took and I wanted to talk about my experience there. As we walked slowly through the line and spent time at each part of the exhibit, I was able to ponder and think about the scriptures they had posted, as well as of the physical aspects of the sacrifice that Jesus experienced. 

The cross was much smaller than I anticipated. I expect that is because of the fact that I have never before encountered a cross, but somehow this surprise made the sacrifice that much more real. 

The Cross

The Sign on Jesus' Cross

Plaque for the Sign on the Cross

Every portion of the exhibit had a plaque filled with information about the portion of the exhibit. It was really interesting to see exactly how the sign would have looked with the different languages saying, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews".

I didn't take a picture of the scourge whip that was shown, but I thought it was interesting that the plaque said that, because of how historically accurate its creation was, it is considered a real scourge whip. The whip ends were covered with bits of metal, bone, and "sheep's knuckles". The metal bits were meant to bring the blood to the surface (probably creating bruises), and the bones and sheep's knuckles were then meant to cut the flesh and cause terrible bleeding and pain. Often, the prisoners would be wrapped in burlap afterwards to staunch the bleeding and keep them alive to suffer longer.

Just like how I thought the cross seemed smaller than I anticipated, so, too, did the tomb cause this same feeling. It was much smaller than I anticipated.

As I passed by the tomb opening and peeked in, I was filled with quite a few emotions. Awe, gratitude, love, hope. In seeing the empty tomb, with the cloths He had been wrapped in folded and laying on the bench, I believe I felt as Mary Magdalene did when she went to visit the tomb and expected Jesus to be there, but found an empty tomb. While I did not experience exactly what she did when He said her name, I expect hearing Him say her name filled her whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief, just like seeing that empty tomb also filled my whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief. And just like how I know when He says my name my whole soul will be filled with gratitude, love, and relief.

I hope you had a beautiful Easter with your family and loved ones. I hope that taking the time to remember the last week of Jesus' mortal ministry with me has been as uplifting for you as it has been for me.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Saturday

Saturday was a day of sorrow and disbelief for Jesus' followers. He had been buried Friday before the Sabbath began. They did not know, nor did they understand, that Jesus was not lost forever. Prior to His sacrifice, He told them He would not leave them comfortless. In John 14:26-27, Jesus says:

26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

We all have our Saturdays. Sometimes life is dark and hard. Sometimes you feel lost. Sometimes you feel hopeless. But Sunday will come. Sunday always comes. You will see the Son. He will give you light. He will give you peace. He will give you hope.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Good Friday

On Good Friday, Jesus Christ was tried, condemned, beaten, whipped, spit at, and crucified. Despite the unfairness of His trial and the horrible way they treated Him, He did not end His suffering until His work was finished.

Luke 23: 46 And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

He made sure His mother was going to be taken care of, and then He was able to finish His work. He endured the darkest, hardest day in the history of the world alone so that we don't have to.

I am so grateful that He loved and loves us enough to sacrifice Himself so that He can be with us through our darkest moments.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Thursday

On the Thursday of Jesus' last week of His mortal ministry, He sits down with His disciples for Passover, in what we call the Last Supper. During this time, He institutes the sacrament, washes their feet, and tells them He loves them. He also tells them that they need to do as He did to them. We read this account in John 13:

12 So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?
13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

After their dinner, they went to the Mount of Olives, the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus walked off by Himself and prayed to the Father. Throughout the events of the rest of the evening, Jesus gives us many examples of His love and of ways to serve and be His disciples. 

During His time in the Garden, He asked Heavenly Father to remove the cup, but if it be His will, Jesus would do it. I love this example of how to work through any trials or challenges in our lives. We don't have to like them, and they can be really difficult, but we can do it, as Jesus did, by turning to God.

Jesus' example of perseverance during the events of this day is something we can all follow in our everyday lives. He did not let the jeers and taunts get to Him. He did not let the difficulty of the events of the day stop Him from continuing. He knew that His sacrifice was needed for us to be able to return to live with the Father again. His love for us was greater than the discomfort and difficulty of His Atonement and Crucifixion. He pushed through for us. His love and devotion to follow the will of the Father give me comfort in my trials. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Wednesday

We don’t know exactly what happened on Wednesday during the Savior’s last week of His ministry, but there is still so much we can talk about. 

Prior to His last week, Jesus visited His friends Mary and Martha in Bethany. On His way there, their brother, Lazarus, passed away. 

We read in John 11:35-36:

35 Jesus wept. 

36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!

When Jesus arrives in Bethany, His love for Lazarus, Mary, and Martha is so great, He raises Lazarus from the dead. 

Jesus’ love for us is so great, He suffered and died for us so that we can all live again, as He did when He rose on the third day. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Tuesday

On the Tuesday during His last week of mortal ministry, Jesus spends the day teaching and serving His followers. 

In the book of Matthew chapter 25 verses 35-40, Jesus gives the following parable:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

There are lots of ways to serve those around us, but the most important way is to make sure they know they’re loved and appreciated. As we serve others, we are serving and drawing closer to Him. I love that this leads back to loving God and our neighbors, as we’ve been learning this week. 

Xoxo
Mattie

Holy Week - Monday

On Monday, Jesus cleansed the temple and healed people. I love how this exemplifies the two great commandments we are asked to follow and that He focused on yesterday: love God and our neighbor. 

Jesus shows His love for God by cleansing the temple and creating a holy space for His followers to be able to worship Heavenly Father. He shows His love for His neighbors by healing the sick and blind. I love how Jesus gives us lots of examples of ways to show our love for God and our neighbor throughout His entire ministry. 

While we usually think about showing our love for God in spiritual ways, such as studying our scriptures and serving in the temple, there are other ways we can show our love for God. Just like Jesus, we can create a clean physical space in our homes to give us a holy, clean place where we can worship God. Even just having a clean and holy space in our homes brings the Spirit into our home, making it easier to love and serve our family (and neighbors).

Xoxo
Mattie

Holy Week - Palm Sunday

Today is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week,  Jesus Christ’s last week of ministry on Earth. 

Ricky and I were able to discuss Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem today. 

His followers in the city laid down cloaks and palm fronds for Him to walk across as He rode the donkey into town, crying shouts of “Hosanna!”, which means, “please save us”. 

Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was. In Matthew 22:37-40, it states:

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

The first message Jesus gives in His last week is to love God and our neighbor. I think that is the most poetic and important message He could give at the start of the last week of His life, in which He embodies the spirit of these two commandments by following His Father’s plan in order to save us. 

I’m thankful for Jesus’s example throughout His entire ministry, but especially in His last week. I love the tradition of going through the events of His last week and am so grateful for the opportunity to study it every year. 

Xoxo
Mattie

Personal reflection and revelation.

It's been a while since I've posted on my blog. School has kept me insanely busy!

This semester is already halfway over! I had four classes, with one being only a seven-week course, so I am so glad that that class is over! I have a bit more time to work on the homework for my two digital content creation classes, which both include all of the editing and recording you can imagine for a video production course and an audio production course. After this semester, if I have done my math correctly, I have ONE semester left! I will not be taking classes in the spring/summer, but if all goes according to plan I will be finishing out my time at Ensign College in the fall semester!

I would like to thank my cute husband, my scholarship benefactors, and my Father in Heaven for all of the blessings, miracles, and support that I have been able to receive during my time at Ensign. While it has been stressful and exhausting at times, I have always been able to get my work done (mostly) on time.

I didn't have a long or thoughtful post planned for today. I just really wanted to get on and post a little update. I am really grateul for so many things, but I just wanted to give a shoutout to something that I have been participating in since August now and I wanted to share how it has blessed my life.

First shoutout goes to Sister Emily Belle Freeman, Young Women General President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has a program called Inklings that is a worldwide institute class. Second shoutout goes to my sweet friend Tara, who posted about it on Facebook inviting anyone who wanted to join to do so. I jumped at the opportunity because I need Jesus in my life and I need an accountability buddy.

This experience has been such a blessing for me. Each week we read a chosen talk from the October 2024 General Conference, meet with our study group (mine meets on Tuesdays), and then every Thursday morning, Emily goes live on Instagram to discuss the talk. Afterwards, the Live story becomes available on her Inklings podcast. I haven't always been able to be on the live, but I really love and enjoy the fact that she has put each one on a podcast. Those are so much easier for me to listen to during my week. As life is crazy busy, sometimes I miss a talk. But I am getting better at being more proactive and listening to the talks in the week. I am trying to be better about listening to the podcast as well. I haven't always been a podcast kind of person, but I am slowly learning to love them–at least, the ones I've found that discuss the Gospel. :)

I am so grateful for the sweet messages and connections that I have been able to hear and receive due to this group of women I've joined with to discuss the Gospel with. We have had so many sweet, beautiful, powerful, and emotional experiences and interactions together. It has been so great to discuss the Gospel with them every week. It is the highlight of my work/school-week and I am so blessed to have been able to be a part of it for the last couple of months. :)

I hope you all have a great week! I hope that I will be able to post more frequently now that my classwork load is significantly lighter since one of my classes has ended now.

I am looking forward to the additional discussions about the Gospel that are coming this year. I am so grateful for a loving Savior and God who knows that we are imperfect, but He still wants us to turn to Him so we can live with Him again.

Xoxo

Mattie