Improving my relationship with Heavenly Father.

Today in Sacrament Meeting, I was reading the conference talk "Unwavering Commitment to Jesus Christ" by Elder Dale G. Renlund. I really loved this talk! I wrote down a few things that I was thinking about while I read the talk, and afterwards when I was pondering on what I had read. I hope that some of them will be helpful for others.

One question that I was pondering was, "What symbolic action can I do to show my commitment to Jesus Christ?" And while I was thinking about this, I realized that there are a LOT of things that I can do to show my commitment to Jesus Christ that I am not doing. I think that one thing I struggle with is that sometimes I try to do all of the things at the same time. And I can't actually handle that. So I need to stop trying to do everything all at once. And I need to start with ONE thing at a time. God understands where I am, and He understands what I can do. And as long as I am giving Him my all, that is enough. 

Elder Renlund said that, "Being 'converted unto the Lord' means leaving one course of action, directed by an old belief system, and adopting a new one based on faith in Heavenly Father's plan and in Jesus Christ and His Atonement.  

This change is more than an intellectual acceptance of gospel teachings. It shapes our identity, transforms our understanding of life’s meaning, and leads to unchanging fidelity to God. Personal desires that are contrary to being anchored to the Savior and to following the covenant path fade away and are replaced by a determination to submit to the will of Heavenly Father. 

Being converted unto the Lord starts with an unwavering commitment to God, followed by making that commitment part of who we are. Internalizing such a commitment is a lifelong process that requires patience and ongoing repentance. Eventually, this commitment becomes part of who we are, embedded in our sense of self, and ever present in our lives. Just as we never forget our own name no matter what else we are thinking about, we never forget a commitment that is etched in our hearts."

Every emphasis in the previous quote was added by me. Those are the most important parts to me right now. Conversion to the Lord is MORE than knowledge. Conversion to the Lord is a CHANGE. I think it's not a coincidence that we call it "being converted to the Lord" when "conversion" means, "the process of changing or causing something to change from one form to another". When we are converted–or working on it–we are working on becoming like Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. We are working to change from our current form into a better one. One that is more like God. And this is something that we need to be continuously doing.

So, after pondering "being converted unto the Lord", I began to ponder a new question. "How can I improve my relationship with Heavenly Father?" And I came up with a lot of personal ways that I can improve my relationship with Heavenly Father. It's different for everyone. Some of the ways that I have been thinking about involve more personal study and prayer. They involve writing in my journal, updating my blog...things that mean a lot to me, and are ways that help me think and ponder about my life, and about the Lord.

I think that as I am doing all of these things to begin to improve my relationship with Heavenly Father, all of the things that I have been struggling with, and that have stressed me out recently, my problems won't go away, but I will have the Lord with me, and I will be able to overcome them. As I serve those around me, I will be blessed with the capacity to love more and be more patient. My attitude, personality, and temper will improve, and I will have better mental health.

Xoxo
Mattie

A year of changes, learning, and growth.

So, the last couple of months/weeks, the main thing in my life that I have been focusing on is my finances. I have been working on trying to budget and save money so that I can stop living from paycheck to paycheck every few weeks when I have random expenses come up. I also want to build up a significant savings account for future unexpected incidents/expenses. I keep getting interrupted by life, and I keep discovering other ways to track my money and budget, so I haven't entirely gotten very far yet. 😂

However, this has yet to deter me, as I keep trying to make notes of my finances. I think that I have been underestimating the amount of expenses that I actually have to pay every month, and so I keep getting low on funds because I think I have more money to work with than I do. 

I know that, as I have been watching my money usage, I have been blessed. I know that as I have paid my tithing first and foremost, I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life. Because somehow...even when I have thought that I didn't have enough...I figured out a way to make it work. 

I'm grateful for the little lessons in life, and for the little tender mercies. God has really been so good to me this year, I honestly can't even comprehend it. This year has probably been one of the craziest years in that I've had probably the greatest number of changes occurring in my life this year than in previous years, which has resulted in the greatest number of changes and the greatest amount of growth to myself. 

Xoxo

Mattie

That's the point!

This week, I was on a spiritual high from last weekend. General Conference is my favorite time of the year, and I'm so glad we have two conferences every year! I am very excited that the talks are now on the Gospel Library App so I can study them in preparation for next conference!

I was teaching my kiddos how to play "Pin the tail on the (Puppy)" (this week our theme was 'pets'; hence, the 'puppy' instead of 'donkey'), and as I was blindfolding one of my kids, he says to me, "I can't see!" I said, "That's the point." Later, when it was my turn, I said something similar to "I can't see" and he says, "That's the point!" And all the rest of my kiddos chime in with, "That's the point!" And I about died laughing! These kids are so funny and make me laugh every day!

As I was thinking about that experience this weekend, I had a thought. I was thinking about the Gospel, and how trials are really hard, and learning and growing as a person are really hard, and that thought came to my mind again, "That's the point!" The point of this life is to experience trials, and to learn and grow. The point of this life is to love God, and love your neighbors. The point of this life is to make the world a better place.

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I'm full of gratitude for this last week. General Conference was amazing, and I've had a fairly amazing week at work. I'm trying to figure out what I'm wanting with my life, and how I can improve myself. I've recently started re-reading the Book of Mormon, and I want to be done by Christmas. It has helped me every day that I've read a chapter or two. I've been calmer, happier, and more at peace as I've read my scriptures each day this week. I'm grateful for the messages of General Conference last week, and I'm grateful for the chance that I have to re-read, listen to, or watch the sessions again for the next six months. I am really hoping that I can become a better person as I keep reading my scriptures every day, and as I study the talks from this last conference. 

I am trying to remember every day to be better. To be more patient, loving, and kind. To let go of the little things that are inconsequential and don't matter. It's hard when I don't understand the why behind things, and I think that doesn't help me be more patient and kind. 

I'm grateful for a God who gives me love and peace when I need it, and even when I don't know that I need it. I'm grateful for a God who reminds me that there is more to this life than meets the eye, and of that wonderful plan that He has in store for me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

My best is enough.

General Conference weekend has come and gone, and it flew by! I can't believe that it's already over! I am so grateful for all of the messages that were shared this weekend and for the answers that I received this weekend. I am grateful for a God who knows me and loves me, and I am grateful for His living prophet, President Russell M. Nelson. He is an amazing man, with a good, kind heart, and he has a love for this gospel, and for the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is inspiring.

I am so grateful for the chance that I had to go to Salt Lake City yesterday and watch conference in the Joseph Smith Memorial building with my boyfriend, and then walk around Temple Square for a bit before heading back down to Lehi. It was an amazing conference, and I am so grateful for the messages that were spoken, and for the answers that I didn't even know I was looking for! God works in mysterious ways, and I sure am grateful for that!

This weekend was amazing! It was the first time in all of my life that I didn't have any homework or anything to do in between sessions (that I can remember). I just got to focus on conference! It was sooo nice!

I'm grateful for the messages of love that I heard this weekend! And for the messages of support. Lately I feel like all I have been able to do is try my best, and this weekend, I got the answer that that is enough. As the days and weeks press on, I will try to improve each day, but I know that no matter what, it is enough that I will be trying.

I'm looking forward to this upcoming week at work! We're going to be making cookies in class on Thursday that are animal shaped and the kids don't even know it! It's going to be a blast! If anyone has any fun ideas for "In The Fall" (which is our next theme) I'd love some! I've got a few ideas but would love another perspective!

God is wonderful! I am grateful for the peace and love that I feel as I listen to conference, as I attend church meetings, as I go to the temple, and as I am surrounded by my friends and family. My life is not perfect in any way shape or form, but it's perfect for me.

Xoxo
Mattie

One thing at a time.

I am happy to say that my cold is slowly disappearing!! Today I have felt the most amazing I have felt in the last three weeks!! I'm so blessed, too, because today I was singing in sacrament meeting, so I needed my voice at its utmost best today. And the musical number was absolutely beautiful!! We sang "If The Savior Stood Beside Me" and I am soo grateful for my friends who accompanied me on the piano and flute! It was a wonderful experience and it really brought the Spirit.

Yesterday, my aunt and uncle were able to be sealed to their newly adopted daughter, and I was lucky enough to be able to go. It was such a beautiful experience and I am so glad that I got to be there. It was a special experience.

During sacrament meeting, the speakers talked about challenges. One speaker said that God teaches us during small challenges to help us during bigger challenges. I really liked this. Because it is really true. He teaches us line upon line, precept on precept. And it only makes sense that He teaches us during small challenges how to deal with our bigger challenges.

For example, I recently FINALLY have almost finishing getting over biting my nails!! I've been working on this for YEARS! And only in the last few weeks have I super focused on my goal, and made it work! I don't know why it has taken me so long, and of course, I'm going to have to focus on it really hard if I want to make sure that I don't bite my nails again, but I'm sure that I can do it. For the first time in a long time, I actually have nails, and I am SO determined to keep them.

Anyway, looking back at my experience with biting my nails, I can learn lots of things. One thing I have learned is that sometimes you just have to keep. trying. I have tried so many things over the years, and they haven't always worked. So many times, I have wanted to give up. Sometimes, I did. I thought, "This is too hard. This is impossible. I can't do it." And I stopped for a time. And then I would want to try again. And it was a giant roller coaster of ups and downs. I kept going, kept trying.

As I have thought about this, I've decided that this can apply to many things in life, and I want to try to apply it in my life better. Right now, I am struggling at work. I think it's because I have had a lot of influx and outflow of children in my classroom, and so they dynamic of my room has been changing every week, so the kids are probably going a little nuts. Frankly, I understand where they're coming from. I also am going a little nuts. It has been a crazy couple of weeks, and I am not sure how the next couple of weeks are going to go, but I am certain that as I focus on one thing at a time, and as I focus on making sure that my kiddos understand that I love them, I think that the next few weeks will be better.

I know that I can't do this alone. I think one thing that has made it difficult these last few weeks is that I haven't exactly been asking for as much help as I've needed. I'm going to try better this week to improve at asking for help when I need it–and even before I need it.

One of the speakers in sacrament meeting today shared this quote, and I needed its reminder today. Honestly, these last few weeks, I have wanted to quit my job. It has been way hard and very taxing on my body & soul. I have thought that I can't do this and that I'm not cut out for it. But I have kept going because I don't have anything else to do right now. My friend this weekend told me that I can do this! She believes in me, and she thinks I am cut out for this. She said it gets easier with time, and I hope she's right (she is). I just need to remember to focus on one thing at a time. Which is really how I have been getting over biting my nails–one nail at a time. Who knew such a small trial would impact how I get through much bigger trials? God sure did. I'm glad that He is on my side because with Him, I will not become lost. 

Have a wonderful week! God loves you, and so do I! 

Xoxo

Mattie

God always gives us blessings–especially when we're sick.

What a week this has been! I have been sick with a cold, and it has made me extremely tired all week! But I have been able to see God's hand in my life every day this week. I was able to wake up early enough every morning to get to work on time, and I've been able to drink lots of water this week. I've been taking some medicine randomly, but this week I'm going to try to take it more routinely and help my body kick this sickness!

In other news, I've been learning and growing a lot this week at work. I had to be more patient than normal (because sick Mattie apparently canNOT deal with things that make her impatient), and I had to work all week through my cold and headaches that occurred nearly every day. The worst part is that every other day was good, and every other day was bad. So some days I felt like I was getting better, and then other days I was almost worse than I was before. It has been a tough week. I think that I was able to rein in my emotions this week, so my kids didn't really notice anything off about me, which is good.

I was thinking about the story of the Prodigal Son in the New Testament earlier this week, and it reminded me of something my New Testament professor this last year said. He said that it should really be called the story of the Prodigal Sons because the son that stayed home also was a little lost. When his brother came back, he was jealous of all the attention he was getting, and of the party that his father threw for him just because he came home. I made a post on my Facebook page for this blog about it, and you can find that link here.

I am really grateful that I was able to make it through this week. I'm grateful for the love and peace I've felt from my Father in Heaven, and from some of my friends. Despite my sickness, and the headaches and such, this week was pretty good, and full of happiness. As I listened to conference talks and read my scriptures, I felt like the Lord was proud of me, and that I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing.

I am hoping that I will be feeling better by the end of this week, because I don't want to spend the whole season sick!

I'm grateful for the power of the priesthood, and that my dad is always willing to give me a blessing. I am grateful for my family, and for the love and support that they give me, and for the fun times that we have together. I am grateful for my friends, and for their love and support, and I am grateful for my Heavenly Father, and for His love. I am grateful for my Savior, and for His love and sacrifice. I am grateful that He was willing to sacrifice His life so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven someday.

Sorry this week's post is so short! I am just very tired and need to go rest some more! I hope that everyone has an amazing week this week!! I love you and am praying for you!!

Xoxo
Mattie

Keeping an eternal perspective.

Today in sacrament meeting, the speakers talked about keeping an eternal perspective. I thought they had some really great messages.

One of the ways to help us keep an eternal perspective is that we have to remember who we are. We are children of God, and He loves us.

Another way is to keep the Holy Ghost with us. In a quote read by the first speaker, Sister Sheri Dew said, "Our challenge is not one of getting the Lord to speak to us. Our problem is hearing what He has to say. He has promised, “As often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit” (D&C 6:14)." We must be confident in our first promptings from the Holy Ghost.

God's plan for us is often fluid, and can be an adventure. Sometimes we can be confident that God wants us heading in one direction, and then later He can be directing us down a different path in a different direction. But He doesn't tell us all the answers every time.

The third way is to remember that it's a doubles match. God is in our court. We are supported by Him, and He will help us as we move forward.

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Asking "why" never takes away the hard things. Life gets crazy. Sometimes God calms the seas, and sometimes He calms the sailor.

In the talk "Accepting the Lord's Will and Timing", Elder Bednar said he asked Elder Neal A. Maxwell what lessons he learned through his illness (he had leukemia) and he said, “I have learned that not shrinking is more important than surviving.” Just as Jesus shrank not to drink the bitter cup, we, too, can shrink not to drink the bitter cup. It's like taking medicine–it tastes terrible, but you need to take it in order to get better. We need to "drink the bitter cup" and stand tall. God is with us, and He will help us through it all.

"Trial" in the medical world has a positive connotation. As you go through trials, you are getting closer and closer to the answers. "Clinical trials are research studies that test how well new medical approaches work in people. Each study answers scientific questions and tries to find better ways to prevent, screen for, diagnose, or treat a disease." Trials that we go through in our lives are testing that helps us develop our faith and testimony. The variety of experiences and challenges that we go through is for our growth. Living the Gospel gives us the support and understanding we need to get through this life. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! God loves you! 

Xoxo

Mattie