The first to see our Shepherd were the shepherds in the fields.

I can't believe that Christmas is this week! I am so very excited! It's going to be so much fun! I also can't believe that it has been a week since I got engaged! It has been such an exciting week already!

Today in sacrament meeting, we had a little testimony meeting and sang Christmas hymns. It was beautiful and touching, and I wanted to share a story that I found on Facebook and share the hymn that I would have liked to have the congregation sing before we ran out of time.

The song I would have liked to have sung is The First Noel. I love the thought that shepherds were among the first to see Him, and that He is our Shepherd. 💜

"Interesting fact: the shepherds in the nativity story were probably no ordinary shepherds. 

In the Mishnah (the written collection of Jewish oral tradition) it “expressly forbids the keeping of flocks throughout the land of Israel except in the wilderness. And only flocks otherwise kept would be those for the temple services.” 

These shepherds were raising lambs that would be sacrificed in the temple—no small task. In fact, a very important task. 

And yet, even as they tended their lambs, when an angel came to tell them of The Lamb, they went immediately to see. They saw that their task to raise animals that would be sacrificed was only important because it led to Christ and His ultimate sacrifice. 

So, they literally left their 99 sheep in search of The One. 

This holiday season, there are a lot of important things on our plate. But I think it is important that we, like the shepherds, realize what each of those events is for and who it is leading us to: Christ. 

And we must be ready at any time, like those shepherds, to leave our 99 to find The One." (Quote from “The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah by Alfred Edershelm)

Art by Daniel Bonnell

I loved this thought and was so grateful to have found it on Facebook. I love the insights and the symbolism of the shepherds and lambs.

“When we see shepherds, may we remember to be humble. When we see wise men, may we remember to be generous. When we see the star, may we remember the Light of Christ, which gives life and light to all things. When we see a tiny baby, may we remember to love unconditionally, with tenderness and compassion.” ~Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, "Christmas is Christlike Love"

This week is Christmas, and while I am so excited to see my family's faces when they open my gifts to them, I am more excited that I get to be with my family forever because of the birth, life, death, and resurrection of our Savior. Because of His birth, and His life, we have the Perfect example to follow. Because of His death and resurrection, we know that the "grave hath no victory" for He has overcome the world. 💜

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever your religion and holidays, I hope you have a blessed holiday season, and a happy New Year! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

"Love is the only word to describe what we've been through together."

This weekend was absolutely perfect!!


Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to Salt Lake City to do a session in the temple before it's closed at the end of the year for renovations (and to see the lights), and then we grabbed a bite to eat. We met up with my sisters (who were both randomly also in Salt Lake city to see the lights). After meeting up with them, he took me to a favorite park of his, where he then PROPOSED to me! I happily (and tearfully) said yes! I am so very excited and happy!! I am so excited for this next adventure in our lives and I can't wait to start planning for it! This has been the best Christmas ever, and it's not even Christmas yet!!!

My life has definitely not gone the way that I planned it or wanted it to...but somehow, looking back, it was just perfect. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have loving Heavenly Parents who want what is best for me and who know just what I need in my life and when. And I pray every day that I will not be such a Negative Nan as much as I have been in the past...but that is something that needs work. And I hope and pray every day that today will be better than yesterday, or that I can have at least one positive moment. So far, I am finding that one positive moment a day leads to more positive moments the next days. 

I am so thankful for my fiancé, who is my best friend and who is absolutely perfect for me. He's smart, kind, sweet, sensitive, thoughtful, a great listener, a worthy priesthood holder, and an all-around amazing son of God. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He makes me want to be a better person every day.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Parents, who love me and have given me so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my earthly parents, who love me and have given me so much experience, knowledge, love, and happiness. I am thankful for my family, who not only tolerate my craziness, but love me in spite of it. 🤣 I am thankful for my friends, who have helped me have a wonderful time and have helped me to look on the bright side of things, and who have helped me to rise above and beyond my mental illnesses and to stand my ground against the adversary.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! I've got a lot going on this week!! I have jury service tomorrow and really hope I get selected! I'd love a chance to participate as a member of the jury because court life fascinates me. I'm finishing up my Christmas gift shopping and probably sleeping more too! I'm also celebrating Christmas with my fiancé before he leaves to spend time with his family and I am so very excited!!

Happy holidays!! May you have a safe and happy holiday season with your loved ones!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

God’s love shines through the darkness

Grateful for the chances I have to share my love of music and the Savior! Next week I’m playing in sacrament meeting (my violin!) and I am so excited! We practiced today and it sounded so beautiful! I can’t wait for my ward to hear it.

I’m also grateful for the chances that I have to serve and bless those around me! Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch my friend’s kids while she and her husband went to the Salt Lake Temple. It was so much fun! Her kids are just so, so darling and I love them to pieces and I was so glad I got to watch them while she went out with her husband. I know how important it is for parents to have date night, and I am always down to play with the kids. We had such a wonderful time, it was so sweet. 💜

Today, my family watched the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional, which was so good!! Afterwards, we watched the new Christmas movie, Christmas Jars, which was so cute! Right now, I’m watching the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert from a few years ago, featuring  Sutton Foster and Hugh Bonneville, with my parents. It’s such an amazing concert! I highly recommend it! It’s full of Christmas love and feelings. “God’s love does shine in the darkness.” 💜💜💜

I’m so grateful and excited for Christmas. I’m grateful for my Savior, whose life led the way for us to be able to learn, grow, and be able to become like (and someday live with again) my Heavenly Parents. I’m grateful for His mother, Mary, and for her love for God, and her sacrifices.

For those who do not celebrate Christmas, I wish you the happiest of holidays! May you have peace, love, and happiness this holiday season.

May you have a wonderful week! This week, my family and I are going to see A Christmas Carol at the Hale Center Theater in Orem and I’m very excited! I love the story and am grateful for the messages it shares.

I’m grateful for the blessings in my life, and for the people in my life. I’m grateful for a loving Savior, a loving Father in Heaven, and a loving Mother in Heaven. I’m grateful for the power of love, and for the chances I have to love and serve those around me—whether or not I know them personally. It’s such an amazing experience to serve people who I’ve just barely met, and it’s even better to serve my loved ones. 💜💜💜

Again, have a blessed and wonderful week!! Love you!

Xoxo
Mattie

God never promised life without heartache.

Happy December! Wow! Can you believe it is the last month of the year 2019 already?? I swear the year just started! This year has had a whole lot of ups and downs, and I have been through so much already! Here's just a small sample:

• This year, I started my last semester of college! And then I also graduated college!
• I went through the temple for the first time and then upped my temple attendance throughout the rest of the year! I've learned so much from the temple and my testimony of the power of the temple and of my Heavenly Father and my Savior has grown so much over the course of this year! 💜
• I turned 22, bought my second car, entered two posters in BYU's Fulton Conference and had one of them win FIRST PLACE!
• I had to get an appendectomy! That was a rough couple of days. 
• My family and I went to Vernal, Utah for our family vacation! It was amAAAAzing!!
• In July, I went on a trip to New York with my friend! 
• I started my first full-time job post-college and have been living the dream ever since!
• I saw Wicked TWO TIMES this year–once was in New York and it was absolutely phenomenal because we had front row seats!!
• "Even when it has been dark for days, the Son always comes." (Me, 07.23.2019)
• With my family and extended family on my mom's side, we went to the Dinosaur Park in Ogden, Utah for our family reunion! It was a blast!
• In September, my coworkers picked me for teacher of the month! It was such a blessing!!
• I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend, who is the sweetest, kindest, most respectful and thoughtful guy ever! I am sure grateful for him in my life!
• I celebrated the one year anniversary of getting my first car (#KingRupertMayHeRestInPeace).
• I made a Facebook page for my blog! (Yes, this blog!)
• Went to Salt Lake City for the October conference Saturday morning session.
• Went to my first BYU Spectacular as an Alumni! Ben Rector and Hilary Weeks were AMAZING!!
• I got to meet KRISTIN CHENOWETH AT A BOOK SIGNING!!! This was definitely one of the highlights of my year!
• I got to go to the temple with my younger brother for our sister's wedding. It was a very special day. The First Three, all in the temple together for a sealing. 
• I got to see Frozen II twice in November! I have always loved Frozen and Frozen II is BETTER! I loved it so much and can't wait to buy it when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray!
• Thanksgiving was amazing! Yummy turkeys and pies!
• I have been working on trying to figure out/remember MY JOB. The one that God gave ME. No one else. Me. He has given me everything I need to do it. I just need to get up and do it (once, of course, I know what it is. I have some ideas but nothing certain yet. Gotta keep praying).
• I learned that LOVE is the answer to all things. Love was the common theme this year. And my self-love increased much this year.
• This year, my mental health journey has had some cRaAaAZzyy times! I have had some pretty amazing breakthroughs and beautiful thoughts, though, and I am very proud of the progress that I have made!
• I learned a lot about God's blessings for me, and about His plans, timing, and how everything has its time and season.
• Now it is December! Time for #LightTheWorld, the Christmas story, Christ's birth, finding Christmas presents for my loved ones (without breaking the bank/going overboard), and remembering the reason for the season.

There is so much to be thankful for! I have had such an amazing year! There have been so many ups!!! But there have also been many downs. Because one cannot know joy without knowing sorrow. One cannot know up without knowing down. And God never promised us a life without heartache. There has been (and will always be) some heartache in my life this year. And that will never change. There will always be heartache. But that's okay. I just need to remember to pray for peace and love, and to hope for a better tomorrow. And to keep my chin up, because there are far more happy days than sad days. I just need to remember to focus on the happy days and not let the sad days ruin the rest of the days. 

I cannot wait to see where the rest of this year takes me, and to see what's in store for me in 2020! I have a feeling next year is going to be my best year yet! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Into the unknown.

This last week has been a little crazy! My sister had her wedding reception Thursday and then got married Friday, and so we spent all week finalizing preparations. The reception and wedding were both very beautiful. My sister made a beautiful bride and I am very happy for her and proud of her. 

This week is Thanksgiving, and I am very grateful for all of the blessings in my life. I am grateful for my Savior, and my Heavenly Parents. I am grateful for the love that I feel from Them, and for the blessings that They give me in my life. I am grateful for the opportunities that I had to attend college and increase my education. I am grateful for my job, and for the happiness that it brings me to work with my kiddos. I am grateful for my parents, and my siblings–new brother-in-law included. I am grateful for my friends, and for all of their love and support during my trials in the last several years. And I am grateful for my boyfriend, who is the sweetest and most thoughtful guy, and who is the best blessing in my life right now. 💜

My life hasn't always gone the way that I had hoped that it would, but I know that this is something that everyone struggles with. Life doesn't always go as planned. God has a bigger plan for us. And His timing is always perfect–even when it doesn't seem like it is. We don't always know why things happen when they do–or don't happen–but not knowing why can often help us increase our faith and trust in the Lord. As of right now, I don't know why God's timing is perfect for me right now.  Sometimes it's really hard to trust the Lord, especially when it doesn't feel like He is listening. But as we are praying in a way that means God can actually answer our prayers, we can come to better understand His plans for us. Sometimes His timing doesn't feel perfect, and sometimes it doesn't seem like I can hear Him answering me, but I know that eventually–whether in this life or the next–things will all make sense. 

As we step forward into the unknown (phrase courtesy of Frozen II and its soundtrack, which I conveniently saw yesterday evening and I HIGHLY recommend everyone sees! I recommend seeing it blindly but you can do what you want), we are facing our fears. We are trusting God and trusting ourselves, and standing tall and taking a step into the dark. The future is unknown, but as we strive to follow God's plan for us, we can come to take things one moment at a time and even though it might not always make sense, it will always be a lesson or a blessing–something to learn from, or something to grow from. 

A bit of a shorter post today, but if you're interested, on Friday I posted on my Facebook page about my sister's wedding and some tips on relationships from President and Sister Nelson. 

Hope everyone has a wonderful week preparing for Thanksgiving this week! Remember to count your blessings and be thankful. I know that I am going to be focusing on gratitude and my blessings this week, and for the rest of the holiday season this year. 

Xoxo

Mattie

He'll provide a way.

This was quite the weekend. I woke up sick Saturday morning around 5am and ended up staying in bed all day resting my body. It was glorious. Even though I was still not feeling well by the end of the day, I was feeling 5-10% better that night. And yesterday I was feeling about 25-75% better.

Something I've learned this week while I was studying the scriptures was that humbleness can be trusting God even when you can't hear Him.

My family watched the Youth Face to Face event yesterday afternoon, which was explaining more about the changes to the youth programs, and David Archuleta introduced and sang the new song for next year's theme ("I Will Go and Do"), and one of my favorite lines was, "He'll provide a way." I loved this! This has been a major theme in the last couple of weeks as I have been reminded many times by close friends about God's timing, and His love and grace.

I first off want to say how grateful I am for artists like David Archuleta, Calee Reed, Hilary Weeks, Gentri, Cherie Call, and many, many others who share their faith through music and song. I am grateful for their messages of love, hope, and for their testimonies that shine through their music.

Second, I want to say how grateful I am for all of the blessings in my life, and for the blessings that I get because of the things that I am doing every day to improve and increase my testimony. I've been struggling with a lot of things these last couple of months, but in the last couple of weeks, I have been reminded of my blessings. I have been reminded of the Lord's plan for me, and of the opportunities I have to find joy in my life.

Sorry that this post is so late but yesterday was a little crazy, what with me still being sick and not entirely feeling up to doing a lot of things.

Hope everyone has a great week! My sister is getting married this week so our week is going to be crazy busy, but hopefully it will be a wonderful week with family! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Consistent and resilient trust in the Lord.

There is nothing like the holidays or the end of the year that have you thinking about where you are in life and where you want to be. 💜

I was pondering during the sacrament today about the sacrament prayers. I made a list of the promises and covenants that I made at baptism, and that God made, and there's not as many as I thought there were! I promised to:

1. Be willing to take the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, upon me.
2. Always remember Him.
3. Keep His commandments.

And if I do these, then God promises that:

1. I can always have the Spirit to be with me.

This is such a great promise. I love that as I do those three things, I have the ability to have the Spirit with me–always.

Today was my ward's fast and testimony meeting (since last week was our Stake Conference), and someone said something today that really rang true with me. They said that, just like type 2 diabetes (in which your body still produces insulin but is unable to use it effectively), sometimes when we don't receive or hear guidance from the Spirit, it's a receptor problem. The Spirit is still speaking to us, we are just unable to hear it. 

This really made me think, because I've been struggling within the last couple of years to consistently hear and feel the Spirit, and I always thought something was wrong with me. I've been doing everything right. I've gone to the temple, I've prayed, I've studied my scriptures, I've gone to church...everything you can do, I did. But a friend reminded me that I have depression and anxiety, and this can make it difficult for me to hear or feel the Spirit. This comment that was made in sacrament meeting reminded me of this, and reminded me that sometimes I don't have any control over it, but that there are things that I can do to help increase my reception of the Spirit.

In Relief Society, we talked about the talk "Consistent and Resilient Trust" by Elder L. Todd Budge from the October 2019 conference. We talked about how we can still be happy and find happiness, even when there is sorrow and life is rough. We also talked about how our sorrow and pain can change to joy/gladness because of our Savior. 

"Afflictions and sorrow prepare us to experience joy IF we will trust in the Lord and His plan for us." Sorrow can help lead to growth, learning, and happiness if we trust in the Lord's plan for us. 

We can still have consistent trust in the Lord, no matter the circumstances. And we can still have moments of happiness, even when we are in times of sorrow. Because happiness is PEACE and JOY that comes from surrendering ourselves to God and putting our trust in Him in all things. So as we trust Him, we can be happy and have happiness. :)

I hope everyone has a great week! I have an orchestra concert tomorrow that I am super excited for! And it's just going to be a great week overall! I'm going to make it so that it is a phenomenal week! 

Xoxo

Mattie