Shining bright with hope.

It's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog. I'm sorry about that. Life has been crazy and hectic. Things have been changing almost every day and it's been stressing me out, and I needed to take a breather.

Over the last few weeks, I have had a lot going on. I have had the opportunity to move into my new apartment, where Ricky will be joining me on May 20th when we are married. I have had the stress of a new job, which keeps changing things almost every day, and it's very hard to keep track of sometimes. And I have still been finalizing weddings plans. We were kind of counting on being able to use the church's cultural hall, but that is no longer an option. Instead, we will be getting married in my parents' front yard, and we are trying to figure out how to do a Facebook live or Zoom call or something like that so that Ricky's parents can participate, as well as any other extended family and friends of ours that would like to participate.

Today, the Church released that they are opening some temples in Utah for live sealings of previously endowed members. Ricky and I fall into this category. While I would much like to wait until we can invite so many more of our family and friends, as the future is unknown and we don't know when that would be, we are going to try to be sealed as soon as possible. While I am unsure yet how many guests we can have, I am sure it will be no more than 20, as that is the state's current number for "groups".

I am not going to lie, I am kind of super disappointed and sad. This whole experience has just been STRESSFUL for me. I haven't been able to really enjoy my time being engaged. My wedding plans have been changing on the daily, and I don't even know what's happening anymore. The minute that some temples were announced as being reopened for previously endowed members of the Church to be sealed as husband and wife, EVERYONE I know was sending me the link to the article, and asking if that changed things. I am not going to lie–I cried on my lunch break today because I was so overwhelmed and stressed. I was just about ready to relax because everything was pretty much done for the wedding–we just needed to buy Ricky's tie, probably some wedding decorations, and get/make food for the wedding brunch–and then the temples reopened and added a new element for me to think on.

I am really trying not to stress about this, but it is just so much more emotionally and mentally taxing for me than I thought it would be. I am grateful that I have Ricky to lean on. He has been so amazing through everything. I am so lucky to be the one that he chooses everyday, and I am so grateful that I get to choose him every day. It's the best and easiest choice I've ever made in my entire life. He is the brightest spot in my life when things are dark. He is always shining bright, and I love that about him.

Photo Credit: Beyond The Darkroom Photography

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In Elder L. Whitney Clayton's General Conference talk in April 2013 "Marriage: Watch and Learn", he gives some great marriage advice that I loved.

"First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.

Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings. I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. They do not consider the commandments to be a buffet from which they can pick and choose only the most appealing offerings.

Faith is the foundation of every virtue that strengthens marriage. Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. Faith grows as we keep the commandments, and so do the harmony and joy in marriage. Thus, keeping the commandments is fundamental to establishing strong eternal marriages. Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.

Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.

Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.

Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. Practices from any place or any time in which husbands have dominated wives or treated them in any way as second-class partners in marriage are not in keeping with divine law and should be replaced by correct principles and patterns of behavior."

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I am so excited to be Ricky's partner and equal in life. I am so excited to go shopping every other weekend with him. I am so excited to discuss dinner options for the week. I am so excited to wake up next to him every morning. I am so excited to be able to study our scriptures and pray together in our own home. I am so excited to be able to create our life and family together. I am so excited to be able to grow closer together and grow closer to God together. I am so excited to be able to move forward in life with him by my side. Together, I know that we will be able to make our way through this crazy adventure called life together. 

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me in so many ways. I am so grateful for the examples that I have to look up to in my life of great marriages. I am grateful for the wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive and loving. Even though things keep changing on me, and it is stressful, I am learning to work through them. I am learning to take things one thing at a time. Some days, I don't always remember that. But each day is something new. Each day is different. Each day is a blessing. And I know that I am never alone.

Xoxo

Mattie

Life amidst chaos and uncertainty.

Long time no see! It's been a couple weeks, I think, since I last posted. It's been crazy around the world. The virus known as COVID-19 (or Coronavirus) has the whole world in a tizzy.

There have been crazy shortages of items, such as toilet paper and bottled water, by people who panicked. I think that that is mostly slowing to a trickle.

There has been an OUTBURST of memes (as always!) and they never fail to make me laugh! My brothers have been making their own memes, and I am impressed at how funny these little guys are!

School has been online for the last couple weeks, and will continue to be so until May 1st (at least, for now, in Utah).

Social distancing is encouraged, as well as staying at home/away from crowds as much as possible.

In church-related news, we have been having church at home for about three weeks. A lot of the missionaries serving around the world (including my own brother, Elder Radke) were sent home to be self-quarantined/isolated for two weeks, and then at some point will either be reassigned to a mission in their home country, or released from their mission. It all depends on the missionary and their stake. Temples were closing all around the world one by one, but then on March 25th, the First Presidency announced that all temples were closed until further notice.

To be honest, I was devastated when I heard that news. I am getting married on May 20th, and I was really looking forward to be sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity. Planning my wedding right now is actually really stressful. Like, it was stressful before coronavirus was really a thing, but now–with things changing literally every day–I never know whether or not I should move forward with certain things because a lot can happen in one and a half(ish) months and things could be a lot better by then. Then again, things could also be a lot worse. Either way, I am grateful to know that regardless of whether or not the temples will be reopened by the time we will be getting married, we will still be getting married and we will still have the opportunity to be sealed together once the temples are reopened.

Anyway, General Conference is coming up! It is THIS WEEKEND and I could NOT be more excited!! This year is the 200th anniversary of when Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith in a vision. It is going to be a conference like no other, for probably more than one reason. I am so excited to be able to hear from our prophet and other Church leaders.

The last couple of weeks, for church in my home, we have been reading and discussing things from our Come, Follow Me manuals. It has really been a blessing for me to be able to discuss and ponder the scriptures with my family. It's been a blessing for us to spend time together. I think that we have grown closer together. I especially am enjoying it because this is my last couple of months living with my family at home before I am getting married and moving out of the house for good. I am enjoying this time with my family and am grateful to have the chance to be with them together forever because of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amidst the craziness that is the world right now, one thing that has kept me calm (even thought I will admit, I haven't always been "calm" about some things in my life right now) is the fact that President Nelson has shared many messages of hope and peace, and President Ballard shared a beautiful message of calm and relief during this period of time where so many things are uncertain. He has been encouraging us to study the First Vision, as it is 200 years since it occurred in the year 1820. He invited us all–everyone around the whole world, including people who aren't necessarily members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints–to fast and pray this past weekend for relief from the coronavirus, as well as a blessing on the medical personnel who are and have been working on treating patients and finding a vaccine. It was an amazing experience to fast with my family this past weekend. It was one of the most powerful experiences I have had with fasting in my life.

My fiancé and I had our engagement pictures taken on Monday night. It was so much fun! I loved taking pictures with him and spending time with him! I am so excited to see how they turn out! The wedding is getting closer and closer!! And while things are continuing to be unknown and it's hard to plan certain things, I am still so excited and grateful for the chance to be marrying my best friend in a little over a month and a half!!

While this virus has kind of put the world (and life) on hold, I am still trying to live through the chaos and uncertainty. Texting, video-calling, using social media–connecting with my family and friends has mostly been virtual since we've been quarantined/isolated. I'll admit, that there are days and moments where I am just so done with everything and want this all to be over. There are days where I feel so helpless and like nothing is ever going to be the same again. Will the sun ever shine again (figuratively)? Some days, it doesn't feel like it. But I hold on to my faith. I know that life will go back to normal at some point. It might not be as soon as we would like, but I know that it will all be okay in the end.

I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father! I am grateful that my fiancé and I will still be able to get married, even though (as of right now) we won't be able to be sealed until the temples are reopened. I am grateful that this weekend is General Conference.  I am grateful for the scriptures and for the love, peace, and answers that come from them as I study their words. I am excited for the chance to hear what the Lord has to say to us through the prophet and other church leaders. I am extremely grateful for President Nelson, and for his words of comfort and peace during this time of uncertainty around the world.

Xoxo
Mattie

Peace and love amidst confusion.

I missed last week's post because it was just such a crazy day/week! I've had a lot going on. So I'm playing a little catch-up with a few posts in one. 

March 1, 2020:

Palmyra, New York. 1820. Early spring. Early morning. A young boy. A serious question. A vision from God.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=431662257545756

This video is amazing! I love all of the little miracles. It's such a testimony to me and just reaffirms my faith in the gospel, in my Savior, and in my Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the First Vision, and for the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Book of Mormon, and for the impact that it has had on my life, and for the love and peace that I have felt as I have read its pages and studied its messages.

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March 8, 2020:

I love this. I don't have all the answers. I don't know. I honestly don't know. I am so confused and so sad for all who are affected.

But I love this. God is a God of clarity and truth. Sometimes it seems like He has given us conflicting commandments. Sometimes it seems like He hasn't given us any answers. But I know that He loves us. I know that He wants us to be happy. So I will walk and talk with you. I will love you. Because that is what Jesus would do. And I am trying to be like Jesus. So I will do what He would do. And that is fight for you. And love you. So I will fight for you, and I will love you. Even when people tear me down because of my beliefs. Because I can be the bigger person. I can make room in my heart to love those with opposing opinions and views, even if others cannot grant me the same respect. 

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Today is also International Women's Day! I wanted to say how thankful I am for all of the women in my life: my mom, my sisters, my grandmas, my aunts, my friends. I have such amazing examples and mentors in my life. Thank you for showing me kindness, determination, charity, compassion, divinity, dedication, how to be myself, and that, no matter what, I have an armada of love behind me. 

I am grateful for my Heavenly Mother, and for the example that She is to me. I am grateful for the peace and love that I feel whenever I think of Her. I am grateful for Her quiet influence in my life. I am grateful for the love and strength that She gives me. I am grateful for the hand that She has had in my life. 

It has been a pretty busy and difficult week for me in a lot of ways, but I am so grateful for not only my Heavenly Parents and my Savior, but for my cute fiancé, who has been holding my hand (literally and figuratively) the whole week. He is my person and my rock and I can't imagine life without him.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I am looking forward to getting some things done this week and to cross a few things off my to-do list. This will be a great week! I can do hard things! God is with me and will help me get through it, and He is with you and will help you through it, as well!! He loves you very much and is so proud of you! I love you and am proud of you as well! Keep it up! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Gratitude changes everything.

I am so full of gratitude this week!

I am thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for His sacrifice for me, which makes it so that I can be with my family forever, and with Ricky forever. It makes it so that I get to try again and again to be like Him in order for me to live with my Heavenly Father again.

I am so grateful for Ricky. He is so thoughtful and sweet. I am so excited to be marrying him! He is a blessing gin my life and he is my best friend. There is so much that we still have to do to plan our wedding our future together, but he is oh-so-willing to help me (in most things 🤣).

I am grateful for the angels in my life–on this earth, and on the other side. I am grateful for the love, peace, and guidance that they–and the Holy Ghost–give to me. I am so blessed to have angels on both sides of the veil in my life to bless, love, and support me.

I am grateful for the Book of Mormon. I am grateful for its testimony of Jesus Christ, and for the truths in its pages, and for the lessons that these truths teach me. I am grateful for the peace that it brings into my life, and for the answers that come as I search its pages.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. I am grateful for Her divinity and strength. I am grateful for His mercy and grace. I am grateful for Their love and guidance. I am grateful for the blessings they give to me, and for the big part that They play in my life. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father is always willing to bless me and lift me up.

I am grateful for friends and family who are always willing to help me, especially with wedding plans as my wedding is coming up. Everyone has been offering help and advice, and I so appreciate it.

When we are grateful, and notice our blessings, we're happier. I've seen this in my life. As we recognize the Lord's hand in our lives, we are able to notice more and more all of the good things in our lives. The more grateful we are, the more dopamine that our brain makes, which means that we are happier! It's science! I learned that in college! But I've also experienced it in my life. I am grateful for the love and peace that being grateful has brought to me. What are you grateful for?

I hope that everyone has a great week! God loves you! I love you! Thanks for all of the love and support!!

Xoxo
Mattie

It's time to start.

I’m in the middle of wedding planning right now, and it’s been taking up my every thought.

But today I was able to take a step back, and I realized something.

I realized that sometimes, life is HARD. Planning a wedding is HARD. Trying to get a new job is HARD. Trying to spend time with my family, friends, and fiancé (hahaha the three “f’s”) can be HARD. Trying to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ is HARD. Trying to live as He did, and to live the gospel, is HARD.

There are days when I am looking and looking and planning and planning but I get nothing done. There are days where I don’t have enough time to spend with my loved ones. There are days where I fail multiple times at being a good disciple of Christ. There are days where I don’t live the gospel as well as I would like.

This is NORMAL. Everyone struggles. We are all struggling at life. It’s not always big or noticeable, but we are always struggling. It’s important to remember that we are all loved and cherished by a loving Father in Heaven. He knows how we are feeling, and that we are struggling. He wants to help us but we need to turn to Him. We need to ask Him for help. We need to do our part, and then humbly kneel and ask in prayer for His help and guidance. We need to be prepared to move forward with faith.

We don’t need to feel overwhelmed. We need to remember to just start doing SOMETHING. Start by praying for peace. Or guidance. Start by reading the scriptures. Or conference talks. Start with ONE thing. And God will help you. You just need to start.

We also need to remember that when we ask God for one thing, He will often give it to us in a completely different way than we asked or intended for. That’s okay. He knows what we need. We just need to be open to the possibility that what He gives us is different than what we asked for, but that it must be what we need.

Happy Sunday! Hope you have had a peaceful Sunday and that you have a wonderful week!

Xoxo
Mattie

Tiny green sprouts.

This week has been a busy week!

First, my brother was set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was dropped off at the MTC this week. That was an exciting moment but also an emotional one. I am so proud of him and can't wait to hear all about his adventures.

Next, not only did I have my 23rd birthday, but I also went to see the Midway Ice Castles, went wedding dress shopping twice, and found my dress! I found THE ONE! I feel so beautiful in it and I am so happy!!

The wedding planning is coming along nicely. I'm less stressed now that I have my wedding dress! That was probably the most stressful part, and now all I have left to do is alterations!

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father, and for His love and mercy. I am grateful for all the second chances He gives me over and over again. I am grateful for His Son, Jesus Christ, and for the sacrifice that He made for me so that I can live with my Father in Heaven again someday.

I am so thankful for my sweetheart, Ricky. He is like our Heavenly Father in that he gives me so much love, mercy, and second chances. He is so respectful, honors his priesthood, and he loves me wholly. I am so grateful for his sacrifices for me, and for all that he does for me. I am so excited for our wedding in May and can't wait to begin our life together! (P.S. If you would like an announcement, please fill out this link here)

I am looking forward to this week. I am sad because I will be leaving the daycare, but I am excited to be moving forward in my life. I have a few potential jobs right now and I am hoping to be able to have more time to do wedding stuff. I know that God is blessing my life right now, and I know that this is what He wants for me at this time. I am moving forward with faith and hope that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.

I love my Heavenly Father and am so grateful for His hand in my life. Sometimes it seems like things are going to work out, and then they crash and burn, but amidst the rubble, there is a tiny green sprout that ends up working out instead.

I've had many moments in my life where I thought things were going to work out, but then they crashed and burned. But I've been able to recognize the tiny green sprouts in my life. I've been able to recognize the blessings, and I am so thankful for those tiny green sprouts. They have grown into the most beautiful garden.

I thank God every day that I have so many blessings. I am grateful for my family, my friends–all of my loved ones who have blessed my life in many ways. Some of them have been my tiny green sprouts–the tender mercies in my life. They have helped me grow and learn, and I am so thankful for them. 

I hope you have a wonderful week! I hope that your Sunday has been very relaxing and peaceful. God loves you so much, and I do too. 

Xoxo

Mattie

The view is always breathtaking.

I’ve been working on this post 𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓵 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴. I just haven’t been able to figure out the words to describe all that I’ve felt in my heart about this. It hits close to home for me, and I know that I have friends who have and do feel similarly. I wanted to do this topic justice. 

Earlier this week on my Facebook profile, I shared a post about how important it is to enjoy life where you are at. Then I commented about how it's okay to struggle with enjoying life where you are at. Then I added how it's okay to work on enjoying life one piece at a time.

I feel the need to share that 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙩. Life is hard because that is the way that life is. Our bodies are mortal and can fail us. Sometimes the actions of others can cause us mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Life takes us in a different direction than maybe we wanted to be headed in. Sometimes we need to be doing things that we don't want to be doing. That is okay.

In this article entitled "If God Loves Me, Why Is Life So Hard?", there is a story of a little girl with a brain tumor. She shows such strength and faith in God throughout her trial.

“7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖆 𝖘𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙; 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8).

I love this scripture. My favorite part is "a small moment". To us, life feels like ᗩ ᒪOOOᑎG ᗰOᗰEᑎT. But, in reality, it is but a small moment that goes by faster than you think. 

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, we just started the new year, but we are already 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓯𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂!!! My birthday is at the end of January, and every year I can't ever wait til my birthday, but it seems like time always goes by so slow! But then when I look at it, it has gone by so fast!

In applying this to ❝𝑒𝓃𝒿💮𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓉❞, oftentimes, the things that trouble us, the things that make us cry every other night, or the things that make us hide in the bathroom at work...these things seem to last a long time. Sometimes they can. Sometimes these things can last years. But, upon reflection, it was "𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉".

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, my first year of college was really difficult. However, it was ❝𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂🌺𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉❞ in the grand scheme of things. College seemed to take ᖴOᖇEᐯEᖇ, but I am now graduated.

It's okay to not enjoy life where you are at...but it is also important to remember that it 𝓲𝓼 where you are currently at. So, what can you do to be 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 with where you are at?

Well, first of all, I think that accepting that you aren't enjoying life where you at is a good start. Being honest with yourself is important.

Second, I think that telling God (even though He already knows) that you aren't enjoying life right now is also important. It's important for you to be honest with God, and for you and God to be on the same page. 

Third, I think that telling a loved one (either a family member or close friend) that you aren't enjoying life right now is a good idea as well. Having not only God's help, but help from someone close to you here on Earth is a good step forward. Together, they will be able to help you through this.

Fourth, know that 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 💮𝓀𝒶𝓎. Know that 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖. We all have moments where life is challenging. We all have moments where life isn't enjoyable anymore. And that's okay.

There are so many other things that you can do to be okay with where you are at. Finding something that you enjoy doing in your spare time. Learning a new hobby. Finding a project to start that you can work on and be able to finish is a good idea. I like having something that I have accomplished. Taking a few minutes or so to let yourself be a little sad about life can also be an option, but you shouldn't let it overwhelm you every day.

Finally, just remember that y⃣   o⃣   u⃣    a⃣   r⃣   e⃣    l⃣   o⃣   v⃣   e⃣   d⃣! By Someone who is not only the most High Being, but is your Heavenly Father! You have loving Heavenly Parents who care for you, and want you to succeed. They know that life is hard, but They want you to remember Them. In addition to Heavenly Parents, you are loved by me. You have family, friends–you are surrounded by loved ones. I know it can be difficult to believe, see, and understand their love, but ίŦ ιs ⓐ𝓛𝓌𝔞𝕐𝓈 丅нᵉяᗴ!

I love you! I know that God loves you, too! Life is an uphill climb sometimes, and you might not like the hike, but man, the view is always breathtaking! 💜💜💜

I hope this week has been a good one for you! If not, I hope that you have been able to find time to feel God's love for you in one way or another! I will be praying for you! 

Xoxo

Mattie