I hope I make Him proud.

Yesterday I went to the temple with some friends and I was able to take some family names to do, and it was so special! One of the things that stood out to me as I was sitting there listening to the ordinance workers was how much God loves me and wants me to be the best that I can be. As I am honest, true, and faithful to my covenants, I will be blessed–in this life, and in the life to come. That fills me with such peace and comfort. Life might not always go how I want it to go, but I know that everything God has promised me will eventually be available to me.

One of the blessings of doing temple work for my own family names is that I am helping my own family to come closer to God, and to come closer to having the blessings of being sealed to our family forever. It is so inspiring to know that my family has waited a long time for the blessings of the temple–and I am the one who gets to help them receive those blessings! I know that they are grateful for the time I take to help them receive the blessings of the temple, and I am grateful for the opportunity I have to do their work for them. 

This is an older picture that I took of the Provo City Center temple last year, but it's one of my favorites. I really love this temple, and I am so grateful that I live so close. I haven't always been the best at going to the temple as often as I could be going, but I am wanting to do better, and I am trying to do better. I know that God blesses me as I take time from my busy schedule to go to the temple, and to do the work for those who cannot do it for themselves.

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Sometimes I don't always know what I believe. Sometimes I struggle with different things...but one thing that I know and that has never been something that I have doubted is my faith in my Savior and my Father in Heaven. No matter what goes on in life...no matter what I struggle with...They have always been there. I have always had my Savior with me, and I have always been able to count on my Father in Heaven. The most important thing to me is my relationship with Them. People come and go...sometimes people come into and out of my life faster than you can say, "Hello"...but Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are always there. Their love for me, and Their trust and belief in me, is constant and enduring. It is never more clear to me than when I am in the temple.

I have been able to receive many answers and blessings through the temple, and because of my time in the temple. My day and week are blessed after I go to the temple. Answers that would just not come before...come after. Motivation that just would not come...comes. Stress that has been overwhelming...disappears. I know that I am blessed when I visit the house of the Lord. 

I know that I am not perfect...but I hope that what I offer to Heavenly Father is enough. I try to make a difference in the lives of those around me by being kind, and I hope that I make Him proud every day. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I know that I will–my birthday is this week!! I don't have any specific plans but I know that it is going to be a great day! Remember that you are always loved by God, and that I love you too! Happy Sunday! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Blessings of the temple.

I am SO BLESSED!!! I was able to go through the Provo City Center temple yesterday and it was SO WONDERFUL!! I was able to have many friends and family there with me and it was such a special time!! The whole day was beautiful and I am so grateful that I was able to go through with my loved ones.

I am so blessed to have had some of the most amazing examples in my life, who have loved me in my weaknesses, and who have pushed me in my anxieties and worries, and who have helped me to go and be above and beyond who I currently am and helped me see who I can become. I am grateful for those in my life who have supported me in all my endeavors, and who have helped me see beyond this life–beyond the frustrations, beyond the unhappy moments. I am grateful for those who have helped me see and remember that my Savior is there for me. He is always there. So when I'm feeling lonesome or sad and no one is around...I can always turn to Him. I've been so blessed to be able to have not only friends and family to turn to, but my Savior, and my Father in Heaven.

Sometimes there are parts of life that don't always go as planned. Sometimes people aren't who you think they are. Sometimes this causes sadness or disappointment. That's okay. It's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to feel sad. But we need to stand up. Brush off the negativity. And walk tall. Because YOU are a child of God. YOU are loved beyond measure. YOU are full of potential. YOU are someone that God can count on. YOU are one of God's warriors and He has an amazing plan for you!

I am really excited for this school semester! I'm almost done with college! I have six months left and I can't believe it! I have really been blessed during this time in my life. I have learned so much and grown in so many ways and I am really excited to finish this chapter in my life and start the next one. I've been able to realize some things about myself, and about some goals I have, and it has been a little scary at times, but ultimately, I've been able to take these realizations and use them to better myself, and to focus more on where I want to go in life.

I know that God loves me. I know that He loves you. I know that as you trust in Him, He will bless you. I know that when we do His will, and when we follow the Holy Ghost, that we will be blessed with love, power, and understanding. I know that as we bless the lives of those around us, God will use us more and more to serve and bless His children on earth–our brothers and sisters.

God is great, you guys. The temple is special and I am so blessed to have been able to go through. I know that Jesus Christ suffered and died for me, and I know that He is with me every day. I know that the more I go to the temple, the more I will understand, and the more peace that it will bring to me.

Last week was a little crazy, but I know that this week will be a lot better because I went to the temple yesterday!! My friend said, "The temple always makes life better" and she is 100% correct!! I am so blessed to have gone through the temple and am so grateful for the love and peace that I've felt in my life since yesterday. God is so wonderful, you guys. I love Him so much and am so grateful for Him!! 💜💜💜

Hope you have a wonderful week!! Take things one day at a time! Life's a lot easier that way!

Xoxo
Mattie

Having the faith to be patient.

In Luke 1: 38, Mary said, "Behold the handmaiden of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." I love this scripture because it shows the amount of faith and love that Mary had for God, and for His plan for her. Even though there was a lot of things that she didn't know about what was going to happen, and even though the situation wasn't entirely ideal for her or Joseph, she still had faith in her Heavenly Father. I can learn from Mary's example of faith and love in and for the Lord and trust that He has an extraordinary plan for me, and that if I ask Him, He will help me know and understand His plan for me. 

In his talk entitled "Faith Is Not by Chance, but by Choice", Elder Andersen said that, "Faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek and hold on to it." I love this quote because not only does it say that faith is a gift from heaven, but it says that it is our choice. Much like Mary, who chose to believe in her Father in Heaven's plan for her, I can choose to believe in my Father's plan for me. I can choose to have faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, and I can choose to continue to have faith, despite any uncertainties or questions that may come up in my life. There is much that I do not know and understand about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and there is much that I do not know and understand about life. But I choose to believe in a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, and I choose to have faith that everything will work out in the end. I choose to have faith that as long as I am doing my part, and as long as I am trying to love and serve those around me, that everything will be okay.

In her song "The Waiting Place", Calee Reed shares the message that God is always with us. Sometimes, even when we've been faithful, God doesn't always show us what we should do. It feels like He has left us alone. We keep pleading, pleading, pleading for answers, direction, peace, and love. 

"As we beg for peace, and trust in His love,
We may not get the answers we want
But answers come pouring from heaven above
And He whispers, You will know what to do
Just keep listening for direction
The path is yours to choose
Turn your heart where I beckon
Every question will be answered
So don't lose your faith
God is here waiting with you in your waiting place
You are never alone in your waiting place."

The answers will come. The peace will come. They might not be what we are looking for, but they will come. We just need to have faith, and we just need to keep praying, and keep listening. God is there. I promise.

Story time: In the summer of 2017, I was feeling a little lost, and I felt like I needed something more in my life. I was feeling kind of...stagnant in my testimony. So I wanted to start preparing to go through the temple. I didn't entirely feel ready, though. I went through the temple prep classes, and I was reading my scriptures and praying, but I still wasn't feeling ready. So I put it on the back burner, but it was still something I wanted. In the summer of 2018, I went to work at a scout camp up at Bear Lake. I was able to spend a lot of time in nature, connecting with my Savior, and my Father in Heaven. By the end of the summer, I had learned a lot and grown closer to my Savior. I finally felt ready! After discussing things with Bishop, I went to the temple prep classes again. Afterwards, I felt like there was no need for me to wait anymore. And so we set up an appointment for my temple recommend interview for the following month...and it's almost here! On Tuesday, I am meeting with Bishop (and the stake president) for my interview! And on Saturday, January 19th, 2019, I will be going through the temple for the first time!! I cannot wait! I am so excited!! And I am so thankful that I decided to wait till I actually felt ready. Before, it was just something that I wanted and thought I needed, and that's good. That's a good start. But I could feel that I wasn't ready; I needed more time. And somehow...somehow I was able to be patient as I worked with myself in being ready. And I am so thankful that I was able to work on myself, and my testimony more. I know that God has blessed me in the past year and a half since I decided that I wanted to work towards this goal, and I am so grateful for His love and hand in my life!

This experience has been amazing. As I'm looking back, I'm realizing that I was not only patient, but I was ecstatic to be patient! I didn't want to go through if I didn't feel ready. I feel blessed that I was able to understand how special and sacred this experience is going to be, and how I have wanted to be as prepared as I can be. I am grateful that I had the faith to be patient, and wait till I felt ready. I am grateful that I have had such a loving support system, and I am grateful that I have had such a special desire to wait until I was ready to go through. I know that God will bless me for that.

I am grateful that I will have such a busy week at school this week! It will help the week go by faster as I am waiting for Saturday to come! I am looking forward to this semester, and to growing and learning. I am looking forward to graduating in June! I can't believe I am almost done with school! I am looking forward to getting out in the world and to making my mark! I can't wait to see what I do!

Have a great week!

Xoxo
Mattie

I can give more because He gave all.

At the start of the New Year, my mind kind of resets my daily schedule and I long for a new daily routine. Trying to keep up with said daily routine becomes difficult because there are so many things that I want to do in my new routine. But I have to start somewhere, so I've been delving into my scriptures this past week. It's been a blessing because I have been stressed about school starting this month but in studying my scriptures, and talking to my Heavenly Father, I have been a little more at peace with the starting of the new semester. I am looking forward to the new semester and I am excited to see where it takes me!

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This week I was able to start studying the new Come, Follow Me manual, and as I was studying, I learned that being a disciple means to give my whole heart and soul to my Heavenly Father and Savior. Progressing in discipleship comes as I identify what I lack, and what I need to change, and how I seek to more fully follow Them. I learned that there is more I can do to turn to my Father in Heaven, and there is more that I can give. I can sacrifice my time for Him because He sacrificed His Son–who sacrificed His life–for me.

Jackson shared a poem in his testimony during fast and testimony meeting that I loved and I wanted to share it.

GETHSEMANE

In golden youth, when seems the earth,
A Summer land for singing mirth,
When souls are glad, and hearts are light,
And not a shadow lurks in sight.
We do not know it, but there lays
Somewhere, veiled under evening skies,
A garden all must sometimes see,
Gethsemane, Gethsemane,
Somewhere his own Gethsemane. 

With joyous steps we go our ways,
Love lends a halo to our days,
Light sorrows sail like clouds afar,
We laugh and say how strong we are.
We hurry on, and, hurrying, go
Close to the borderland of woe
That waits for you and waits for me;
Gethsemane, Gethsemane,
Forever waits Gethsemane.

Down shadowy lanes, across strange streams,
Bridged over by our broken dreams,
Behind the misty caps of years,
Close to the great salt fount of tears
The garden lies; strive as you may,

You cannot miss it on your way.
All paths that have been, or shall be
Pass somewhere through Gethsemane.

All those who journey soon or late,
Must pass within the garden's gate;
Must kneel alone in darkness there,
And battle with some fierce despair.
God pity those who cannot say:
“Not mine, but thine;” who only pray,
“Let this cup pass;” and cannot see
The purpose in Gethsemane.
Gethsemane, Gethsemane,
God help us through Gethsemane.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

 I thought this was a beautiful poem and really loved the imagery and the peace and Spirit that I felt as Jackson read it, and as I reread it again just a few moments ago. I am so thankful for my Savior, who prayed and prayed and wept with me in mind; He prayed and wept FOR me, and I am so thankful that He was able to give me many more chances to try again. I am so thankful that, in times of loneliness and sorrow, I am able to have a comforting hand, and someone who knows exactly what I am going through.

"God is love." Someone said that in their testimony today. I loved it, especially because 'charity is the pure love of Christ'. So as we are being charitable, we are giving God and His love to those around us. I am so thankful that I have many opportunities each day and each week to bless the lives of those around me, and to show them not only my love for them, but God's love for them as well.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Xoxo
Mattie

Learning life lessons.

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has blessed my life in many ways this year, and I don't know how He does it, but I know that He does it because He loves me!

I can't believe the end of the year is here! It's been quite a year! I've learned a lot! I think that one of the main things that I have learned this year–though I still am struggling to understand it at times–is that there is a reason for all things. Things happen for a reason, and things happen when they are meant to. It's hard to remember that, though, and it's hard to have patience sometimes. But I know that when you take a step back, and try not to focus on some of the things that you want, that 1) time will fly by as you're waiting; and 2) sometimes something better will come along and you'll realize that what you wanted was a good thing, but this new thing is better for you.

One of my favorite things about the end of the year is looking back on the year, and being amazed at all the things that have happened this year. I look back at things that happened in March and April, and I go, "Was that really this year?" And it amazes me how time seems to fly by when you least expect it. I could have sworn that I have been taking my medication for a long time, but I just started taking it this year; I could have sworn that the summer went on forEVER, but then it was over; I could have sworn Fall semester just started, but now it's over; and I could have sworn I just turned 21 and had the greatest surprise party of my life, but I'm now a month out from being 22 and I can't believe it!!

I've grown and learned so much this year!! I am so thankful for all of the new friends that I have made, and for all of the love and support that I have received this year. I am grateful for all the adventures that I have had this year! I have learned many, many things about God's plan for me, and about who I am. 

I learned that God is always watching out for me. I learned that, in spite of my mistakes, He still loves me. I learned that, despite the fact that I couldn't forgive myself for the longest time, He never gave up on me. He still believed in me, and He had still forgiven me. I learned that He sends the best people in my life to come at times when I need them, even if I don't know that I need them. I learned that I have so many people who love me, and that God wants to make sure that I know that I am not alone, and that I am not unloved. I learned that it's important to have at least a few strong and sweet friendships with people that you can always count on–people besides the Savior. 

I learned this year that I am wonderful. I am funny. I am kind. I am loving. I am gracious. I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am hard-working. I am talented. I am creative. I am determined. I learned that I am all of these things but I am NOT my anxiety. I am NOT my depression. I have anxiety, and I have depression. But they do not define me. They are not a part of who I am. They are just mental health illnesses that I have. It has taken me a while to figure that out, but I think I am finally beginning to understand the difference. 

I learned that I struggle with school, which was kind of a surprise, but I learned that I love the learning part of school. I learned that I really love being organized and making lists–it doesn't always happen haha but it makes my life much easier. I learned that my life is my life and that it's not anyone else's, and that I have things to learn and go through that others do not. I learned that I can do a lot more with my life if I set my mind to things. I learned that my worth is not defined by others. I learned that who I am is who I am, and that nobody can take that away from me. I learned that it is okay to say no. I learned that it is okay to ask for help–and it is okay to keep asking for help until you get it. I learned that it is okay to want something at one time, and end up not wanting it later. I learned that it is okay to change your mind. I learned that sometimes I accidentally hurt people, and that I want to do all that I can to take away the hurt, but sometimes I can't do that. I learned that sometimes, you have to be the bigger person and forgive, let go, and move on–even if it hurts. And I learned that other people can feel and do these things too! So I also learned that I am not alone.

These are just a few of the things that I have learned this past year. Wow! I can't believe I have learned so much! What have you learned this past year? What has been the biggest thing that shaped your life this year? Let me know in the comments! I'd love to hear what you guys learned this year!

I am excited for the New Year, and for all the lessons that I will be able to learn next year. I am excited for all of the adventures that I have to look forward to in the next couple of months as I am finishing up school! And I am excited for all the unexpected adventures that are coming my way in this new year! Life might not always go exactly as I want it to, but somehow whatever happens always works out in the best way! God is great, and I am so thankful for Him! 💜💕

Xoxo

Mattie

I can #LightTheWorld by believing.

This week for Light The World, it's Light Your Faith. As we reach out to give as Jesus gave, we ultimately fan the flame of our own faith. This week, reflect on ways following Jesus Christ has brightened your life and discover a few more ways to light your faith. How can you #LightTheWorld by lighting your faith?

There are lots of different ways that we can light our faith! Here are a few ideas!

1. Attending church services! It's a great way to learn and build your faith. Every time I go to church, I always hear something that I needed to hear. It re-establishes my faith, and makes my testimony grow. It's good to hear other people's comments and testimonies, and that, again, re-establishes my faith, and gives me comfort. 

2. Reading the scriptures, magazines, and other Church-endorsed publications about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. I always learn something new every time I read the scriptures, or when I reread or listen to a conference talk. 

3. Pray! For what? Pray for opportunities to serve, opportunities to understand, opportunities to have faith, opportunities to grow...As we serve, understand, learn to have faith, and grow, our faith increases. I don't know how to explain it, exactly, but I will try:

As I am serving someone, and I realize that my service was something that they needed from me at that time, my faith grows. I realize that my Father in Heaven is using me to bless the lives of those around me because He believes in me, and He trusts me.

As I am beginning to understand more about my Savior's atoning sacrifice, my faith grows. I realize that my Savior died to save me, and He died to give me another chance to live with my Heavenly Father again.

As I am trying specifically to have and express my faith, my faith grows. I realize that sometimes, in order to light my faith, I have to use my faith.

As I am growing as a person, and learning more about how I can become a better person, my faith grows. I realize that God is leading me to be the best version of me I can be, and He is trusting me to bless the lives of His children with my love, service, and time.

4. Go to the temple! God blesses me when I go to the temple. I love to sit in the temple and ponder on different things in my life that I need guidance in. I often receive revelation that I wasn't expecting and I am able to use it to learn and grow. I am SO excited to be able to go through the temple in a couple of weeks! I know that God will bless me as I take this next step in following Him.

There are so many different ways to light your faith! I am grateful for the chances that I have to be able to test and strengthen my faith. I know that I am as stronger woman, and a stronger example to those around me, because of it.

I am grateful for the angels in my life. The thinness of the veil around the holidays is such a wonderful blessing. I know that I have people on both sides of the veil who are rooting for me, and who are blessing my life. This 5-minute fireside by Mercy River on the power of angels is beautiful! (I hope the link works!) Please enjoy!

Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family! Remember the reason for the season.

I am so thankful for my Savior, and for His love and sacrifice. I am grateful for my Father in Heaven, who was willing to give His Son so that we could all return to live with Him someday. 

Xoxo

Mattie

I can #LightTheWorld by loving.

I was able to be at home today for Bridger's ordination to the Aaronic priesthood. I'm so proud of him! It was good to be with my family and a good start to this week's #LightTheWorld initiative, which is Light Your Family. Serving with your family can bring you closer together, but serving your family members can bring the light of Christ into your own home. This week, focus on ways you can serve the people you love most.

I am so glad that I was able to be home today! My mom is the ward choir director and since I'll be home next Sunday for the Christmas program, I'm going to help sing. My little brothers are so excited to have me home for Christmas! I can't wait for them to see what I got them for Christmas!

It's kind of hard to serve your family when you live either super far away, or when you live far enough away that your lives don't always cross. So here are some suggestions that I have:

1. You can text, call, or FaceTime your family each night, or just one night this week. You can study scriptures together, or even just chat with each other about life.

2. You can write letters to your family and send them! Or you could send them a package. Whatever you like.

3. You can have a group chat and send silly memes to each other, or even your favorite scriptures. Just let them know that you are thinking of them. 

There are so many ways that you can serve your family! I am so excited for Christmas! I may or may not have gotten everyone in my family a gift this year. And they may or may not be absolutely perfect for each member of my family. And I may or may not be extremely excited to see how they react when they open their gifts.

While I'm waiting to go home, I'm going to try and serve those closest to me as if they were my family. And I'm also going to be making plans to serve my family this week while we're apart. I'm so excited for the holidays and I can't wait for the New Year! 

I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father! Last night I went to Temple Square with my ward (and had a fantastic time and took some amazing pictures, which I will show here in a second)! We were able to pass out 113 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to homeless people on the streets and it was so awesome! Afterwards, we were so blessed to be able to make it to the 9:03 train because it was delayed so we didn't miss it! It was super cool to spend a bunch of time looking at the lights and the temple and just being so amazed and in awe of the beauty of the temple and of the world. I am so excited to be able to go through the temple next month and I can't wait!!

These are my peeps! This is my ward! Love them so much!

I really had a fantastic time taking pictures!! There were a TON of people around so it was super crowded but it was super fun! It wasn't too cold, which was perfect! 

Thought this was a cool angle!

So pretty!! 

I really loved the moon!

I loved the blue lights, the red lights, and the white temple!
And the moon was cool, too!

This was so serene. I loved the lamps!
They reminded me of the lamp in the Chronicles of Narnia!

LOVED the temple through the lights!

Beauty.

I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to go see the temple lights! I am grateful for my family, and for the love that I feel for them and from them. I am so excited to be celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and I am so grateful for all the love that He has for us, and all that He has done for us.

I hope y'all have a wonderful week! I'm just trying to get through till Thursday...scheduled finals on the last two days is the worst, but somehow, I know I will make it through! 

Xoxo
Mattie